Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML
Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML
Today, in court, I got a kid out of a prison sentence because I genuinely believed he was innocent. He and his mom were so happy, he even hugged me afterwards. It took me a minute to realise he'd pick-pocketed my keys and stole my car. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kelsorg 21
well, if you're good at your job you can prove him wrong! fyl
cakefete2 31
Well, at least you're familiar with the case. You should be able to defend yourself easily.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (83)
allison12197 23
Lucky for you the word of an attorney usually outweighs that of the defendant.
janed0e92 9
funniest thing ever!.... sorry op lol
tilliedevine 5
I prefer samsung to iPhones
arunnaveen82 4
If at all you involved you f****n deserve it...
Thatguy334 7
You're a lawyer, get over it. You're the one who chose to defend this turd
pumboc 23
You evidently have no idea how the legal profession works.
Zomg_Okay 27
Not a lawyer but to the best of my knowledge, they don't get to choose. If they did, child molesters and the like would never get fair trials because nobody would defend them.
interesting33 37
it sounds like he has maybe got mental issues - that might affect his case?
ibrokethehubble 5
It would definitely affect his case if he is deemed incompetent. Incompetency to stand trial results in the client residing in a mental institution and being medicated until such time that he is deemed competent, at which point the case resumes.
yeyeboys 20
I definitely want to see the OP follow up on what the judge said and what happened in the end.
ofernando84 4
A real lawyer wouldn't end a sentence with a preposition
Ki11erC 18
Never represent your accomplices in court ;)
TheNiceOne 20
And there goes his lawyer...