Today, in court, I got a kid out of a prison sentence because I genuinely believed he was innocent. He and his mom were so happy, he even hugged me afterwards. It took me a minute to realise he'd pick-pocketed my keys and stole my car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a young child passed out unattended in a hot car so I smashed the windows to rescue him. After waiting with him for 30 minutes, his mom came out and called the cops on me. I officially have a probation violation and the mom went home free. FML
Today, I was arrested by the police for sitting in what they thought was a stolen vehicle. After being slammed into the back of a squad car at gunpoint, they realized the car was actually recovered a week ago. FML
Today, I got a criminal record and a court date, all because I’m a single mom struggling to pay rent and feed my 3 kids, and I was desperate enough to trust a random man who told me to cash a fraudulent check. He dropped me off at the bank and ghosted me when I was being interrogated and booked by the cops. FML
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML
Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML
Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML
Today, I borrowed a roommate's car to get groceries. I came out to find the car stolen. I called the cops, and the responding officer took the info and drove me home to give the roomie the bad news in person. 15 minutes later, they found the car. I'd parked it on the opposite side of the lot. FML
Today, my ex got arrested for stealing. His new girlfriend texted me asking if I could lend her money to bail him out. FML
Today, the police finally recovered my stolen car. All it took was a shootout and two people dying. FML
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Top comments
bidet 10
Now you get to transition from defense attorney to Witness for the Prosecution
GoogieWithers 25
He may be innocent of the first charges.
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Comments (2)
bidet 10
Now you get to transition from defense attorney to Witness for the Prosecution
GoogieWithers 25
He may be innocent of the first charges.