Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML
Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML
Today, in court, I got a kid out of a prison sentence because I genuinely believed he was innocent. He and his mom were so happy, he even hugged me afterwards. It took me a minute to realise he'd pick-pocketed my keys and stole my car. FML
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Top comments
kelsorg 21
well, if you're good at your job you can prove him wrong! fyl
cakefete2 31
Well, at least you're familiar with the case. You should be able to defend yourself easily.
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Comments (83)
Omniprism 15
Maybe he's not an idiot maybe if he's that deranged hell get off by being mentally unstable. Funny that he's blaming you.
Bloink 25
well, your job is to defend him, so you seem to be in a pickle
ibrokethehubble 5
Speaking as a public defender, OP needs to file for competency immediately. If his client is indeed deranged or delusional, he needs to be evaluated. To everyone saying that the client will "get off" due to insanity, you clearly don't know how the system works. A person deemed not guilt by reason of insanity doesn't go home; they are sent to a mental institution. Sometimes they are eventually found to be sane again after some period of time, but many remain there permanently.
blackonblight 33
I'd always heard insanity was worse to get, because it could mean indefinite institutionalization, since there's no maximum sentence, you stay until 'cured' which may not ever happen.
russfml 31
Fyl this needs a follow up!!
ceelos97 16
Did the judge believe him?
Saraishi 25
He went full retard.
mccrightp 29
I hope you have an alibi!
doglady 16
Are you a public defender? FYL indeed
martin998877 12
Declare him as a hostile witness and cross examine the hell out of him.
Coyotus 7
It's your job to defend this statement. Admit your crimes.