Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I went to court-mandated anger management. The guy running the class was an insufferable little dweeb who wasted time teaching us fucking nursery rhymes. I wanted to break his stupid little nerd glasses. Everything about him makes me mad. FML
Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML
Today, I hate the legal profession with a passion, as I just walked out of court where a lawyer, spouting incomprehensible bollocks in Latin, convinced a judge to let a developer bulldoze a children's playground and part of a forest, to build a second multi-storey car park for the shopping centre across the street. FML
Today, I got so anxious while trying to fight the ticket I got earlier this month that I passed out in front of the judge. FML
Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML
Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said, "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
A lot of people hate your job.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Well... Some people are beyond saving. Sucks for you!
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Comments (41)
HKCgrimmjow 15
Well... Some people are beyond saving. Sucks for you!
imyy 20
Sounds like this client may be mentally ill, though.
extrasnipes 22
Sucks for you? Great pep talk :p
HKCgrimmjow 15
I mean it can't suck too bad. OP is getting paid to help so I mean... Can't be THAT bad.
ashalayx 13
i dont think the OP was expecting anyone to give him a peptalk considering this is FML.
Odis12 11
Why is he mentally ill because of this? Some people are just stupid assholes. It's not a mental disability, it's a bad attitude.
184886837272837 32
Reminds me of the FML where the client wanted to use the defense "it's not robbing a house if you've got swag." It could be worse OP :)
HKCgrimmjow 15
I think being a stupid asshole IS a mental disability.
Odis12 11
Mental disability means they can't help it. I haven't met many mentally disabled people who are downright dicks. Now some do take advantage of their disability, but this guy just sounds like another prick.
Roskie 16
When did we get from mentally ill to mentally disabled?
golden_warrior 23
He deserves to go to jail for being a dumbass. I hope it's not a deal where you only get paid if you win.
Damian95 16
Haha this sounds so absurd it's funny. Unless you don't get paid, then I'm sorry.
incoherentrmblr 22
#2: Mr. Dumass: What a dumbass...
slooby_fml 25
Let his ass get sent to jail. That's his own fault
Sports_guy3 28
Then OP gets a bad reputation.
Kyuzomi 12
If the judge and a lot of people witness his client yell **** you at the judge, they can probably put two and two together, saying his client was the idiot not him. But then again the people who weren't there to witness that happen might think otherwise.
slooby_fml 25
This kind of thing probably gets into some sort of news outlet. I'm willing to bet many people will hear about it some way and not blame OP for his idiot client's actions
perdix 31
A lot of people hate your job.
karatekid97 17
Some people are beyond help, OP.
kjhawk 8
Give him a reality talk or something to make him realize what he's doing... If that doesn't work yell "SHUT UP"
_Heisenberg__ 15
You're a lawyer. You make almost more than me. Stfu
nick3600 22
He needs his diaper changed
Davids9199 14
God that's obnoxious of him
AssassinBug 15
Atticus, this isn't Tom Robinson, he is not worth defending.
kjhawk 8
Hey I'm reading that book right now in LA10.
hman1025 17
Hey I get that reference!