Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my date bumped into her ex-husband, who decided to join us for the rest of the dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML
Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML
Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML
Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML
Today, I got tackled by a bouncer in a club and handed to police for spiking my date's drink. It was an ice cube. I'd asked the barman for some ice cubes, which I put in both my drink and hers, and someone assumed I was slipping her a roofie and reported me. FML
Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML
Today, I found out the man I have a date with next week is married. FML
Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML
Today, I found out that my husband asked out another woman on a date five days before our 11th anniversary. FML
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Top comments
menother 2
This is when you have a very, very serious conversation. And find out how long he has been slipping you mickies every night.
dirtygurdy 0
you should gave switched the drinks if they were the same
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Comments (89)
SCARYMUSIC 0
OR it was someone else and your husband didn't know that the guy sitting next to you was starring
okieraider71 4
You need to report the BARTENDER to the management and local newspaper. He is a class act, a man in the midst of boys. "All that evil needs to triumph is for good men to do nothing". His actions deserve recoginition.
Patsfan207 0
Nice thought, but the bartender is a "she" as stated in the OP. Funny how we assign genders automatically to occupations.
brownlace 0
that's scary
suffer_for_beaut 0
haha, scary yeah
mushoo_fml 0
Before I jump on the "OH NOES YOU'RE HUSBENDZZ IS VILLIANZZZ" bandwagon, I'd like to point out that maybe, just MAYBE, the bartender was mistaken (or drunk, or mischievous, or on a dare).
sks4613 1
nope my guess it was ALi the weight loss pill
ZachIsASaint 1
#63 - That's what I was thinking. Why does everybody assume it's roofies? Must husbands I know would be way more likely to sneak a diet pill in their wife's drink. That or Prozac to make them nag less. If a guy is going to go to the trouble of drugging and raping a girl, why not find somebody hotter than his wife
ryguy997 0
HOLY CRAPOLY!! RUN AND DIVORCE!!!
ass2mouth 0
if u give it up, he wouldn't have to slip u roofies.
Leprecon 3
Why didn't you drink it ? Its your husband, worst case scenario, he slipped you roofies and you are having sex tonight. Best case scenario, you drink it and it turns out there is nothing in it. BTW, nice relationship you have with your husband when a random bartender can shatter all the trust between you using one sentence.
CallMeHush 1
He should have just used my line, Excuse me miss, does this rag smell like chloroform? Why the hell does my auto complete have chloroform in it? That is just too effin weird.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Bartender was a she so unless she was a lesbian trying to pick up someone she see's to be straight, she wasn't trying to get laid.