Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my date bumped into her ex-husband, who decided to join us for the rest of the dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML
Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML
Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML
Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML
Today, I got tackled by a bouncer in a club and handed to police for spiking my date's drink. It was an ice cube. I'd asked the barman for some ice cubes, which I put in both my drink and hers, and someone assumed I was slipping her a roofie and reported me. FML
Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML
Today, I found out the man I have a date with next week is married. FML
Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML
Today, I found out that my husband asked out another woman on a date five days before our 11th anniversary. FML
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Top comments
menother 2
This is when you have a very, very serious conversation. And find out how long he has been slipping you mickies every night.
dirtygurdy 0
you should gave switched the drinks if they were the same
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Comments (89)
Immature_fml 0
YDI for jailbait face.
sheknowsohknows 0
HAHA. Well that sucks...not giving him what he wants?
wordgirl 0
Do you frequently wake up after nights out with your husband, and instead of feeling a hangover, your butt just really hurts?
mtc4ever 0
it's probably Viagra for women lol everyone should calm down
crzyry 6
Hmmmmm...So that explains the new life insurance plan he got last week huh?
Crysta_fml 3
has anyone thought that the bartender might have been lying? you know, she obviously thought they were on a date, mabey hoping the husband, or indeed the wife were single? or just trying to sour things up. most people are like that. who should she really trust more? some bartender, or her husband of X years.
youngwife 2
You have got to give him some once in a while...They are like dogs you can't keep them boxed in. Take him out for a walk at least 2-3 times a week. I think it is so funny he slipped ruffies in your drink..Hey he is not cheating he just wants you to get loose and jump him lol
Erindub 0
Awesome bartender!
scarletlily_fml 3
Wow, that's ****** up. Did you call the cops? I would've. What an asshole husband.
epeets 1
after several punches to the face invoke the real pain by locking up the pussy for a few months. Divorce is also a good option. Make sure you get half. lol