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Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

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Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Pleonasm 36

"Honey, can't you see I'm on a date here? Don't be so selfish! It's always about "Me, me, me." Can't you just let a guy have a nice time with his girl without getting calls every five minutes from his needy wife? *to the date, away from phone* the nerve of that woman..."

DocBastard 40

You should start seeing other people too - divorce lawyers.

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Comments (81)

Pleonasm 36

"Honey, can't you see I'm on a date here? Don't be so selfish! It's always about "Me, me, me." Can't you just let a guy have a nice time with his girl without getting calls every five minutes from his needy wife? *to the date, away from phone* the nerve of that woman..."

sniken 14

"moments before impact"

a1f0sff 25

"moments during impact"

mega20913 8

I can't believe that you had time to write all that without losing the top spot

mega20913 8

I can't believe you had time to write all of that without losing the top spot

mega20913 8

I can't believe you had time to write all of that and without losing the top spot

CaptTeemo 10

"moments after impact"?

klovemachine 24

"moments around impact"

lambda_fml 40

erm...Deep Impact?

False_Stupidity 42

Deep penetration?

MrPlopper 9

Double penetration!

iluvFMLs15 19

Sounds like you have expertise on this matter lol just kidding.

Puffytruffles 18

You're a independent black woman who ain't need no man! Yeah screw him, you deserve better if he doesn't value your relationship.

Pleonasm 36

I think it's supposed to be a reference to a meme or chain message from facebook or something. I don't think he's racist, just that it's not a very well known joke.

tigergirl13 3

It's not racist it's from a comedian on Comedy Central.

Squygm 7

It can also be one of family guys many black jokes.

Harshdfml 14

It's about time, that asshole needs to have his Ass dumped..

ladyLALAA 29

Get proof! Divorce his ass and take his house! What a douchebag!

AwkwardPartyBear 24

That's horrible. I'm sorry OP. You'll find better than that ass bucket.

coolboy675 16

How dare you interrupt him while he's on a date with Siri?! Can't you let the poor man have phone sex once in a while?!

AH1Zviper 15

The closet thing a man can get to phone sex with Siri is " I found 18 strip clubs in your area. "

mb2_native 15

Or "ooohhhhhh". Seen it on YouTube, and I had to try it, took about 4 tries to get Siri to say it. I couldn't stop laughing. Siri can be funny when you know what to say, but most time takes a few tries :p

GothickNihilist 15

Time to file for divorce OP.You deserve better than a man, who treats you like this.

supportcommand 17

I think you should **** one of his friends. That's acceptable payback.

lilhellian 27

But when the husband finds the video on his friends laptop, she won't be able to easily get the house in the divorce...

ManInTheMachine 20

Yes supportcommand, because stooping to the husband's level puts OP on the moral higher ground. I seriously hope you don't really think retaliation is the answer.

supportcommand 17

# 38. To be totally truthful, no, I don't actually think that this is the best course of action for op. but what really gets me is why you are so concerned about whether I was joking or not.

ManInTheMachine 20

To be honest I don't give two *****, I was hoping for your sake more than mine.

supportcommand 17

It seems like you do, since you stated that you seriously hope that I don't think that retaliation is the answer. Sounds like you care to me.

ManInTheMachine 20

I said I 'seriously hope' the way I would say 'I seriously hope the United States gets over their gun issue' even though I live in Canada, so whether they do or don't is irrelevant to me. I would just pity them, as I would pity you if that was in fact your mentality. You seem to care a great deal about whether or not I care, though. Is there a reason why? Are you trying to instigate an argument, or are you genuinely curious?

supportcommand 17

Genuinely curious. No need to have an argument. We went through that before, remember?

ManInTheMachine 20

Nope, though I can believe it did.

Codezlol 21

I care that you care that he cares but she doesn't care we all care as a cumulative entity we all really don't care. Unless we care, then the prognosis is that we ultimately care. *hides*

False_Stupidity 42

*reads comment 75 several times* << BOOM! >> *brain explodes*

Kalipczo 21

Cheating is never acceptable in a committed relationship.. It's time for either a long talk or diverse papers.

supportcommand 17

I think divorce papers would be more effective than diverse papers.

mega20913 8

"diverse papers" are the papers like different colors or something?

CSC_fml 5

Diverse papers is summary of all the types of papers including divorce that OP will be filling out.

Kalipczo 21

Divorce** Jesus Christ lol

False_Stupidity 42

@ #59 I wouldn't want to divorce Jesus Christ, even if I was female and married to him.. think of the ultimate celebrity prestige!

carry_on 19

You should go ahead and decide on a divorce, I think you could do better.

CBunny13 4

Ouch, that sucks! Sorry OP, ditch him!