Anonymous
United States
Today, someone caused over $400 worth of damage by breaking into my car, just to steal $8 worth of beer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Potato_Lord
Madison, United States
Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML
jsyn
East Hampton, United States
Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML
ScrewedForCheapBag
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Sacramento, United States
Loot
Today, my car got broken into. A small folded plastic bag and a few toothpicks I got from a restaurant were stolen. It's going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix and clean my car over a 10 cent bag and a few free toothpicks. FML
lance
Canada
Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML
Animal_aide
Canada
Today, I got my car back from the repair shop. After paying $400 for them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of my car while I was on my lunch break from work. FML
amayasoma
Houma, United States
Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car's ashtray. FML
stop thief
Aurora, United States
Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML
Leauge
Owensboro, United States
Very smart
Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML
Anonymous
United States
He giveth and he taketh away
Today, someone at work left 10 unopened beers after hours. I’m not much of a drinker, but free is free, so I took them home during my lunch break. After work, I left my new phone on top of my car, forgot about it, drove off, and it smashed in the middle of the road. Looks like I’m drinking those beers tonight. FML
Bryce
Clean-freak criminal
Today, some dumbass broke one of my car's windows to steal the pack of disinfecting wipes I just bought a few hours ago. FML
Top comments
bbedlock_fml 7
ALWAYS hide your beer!
hthelittleone 10
Some people..
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Comments (226)
astronobob 0
Correction: $408 worth of beer
Helluurrr 9
No.. $400 in damages to steal beer at the value of $8. Total of $408, yes. Not in beer a lone, though.
astronobob 0
It was sarcasm...
musicluvr2000 11
Thank you at least one other person on this planet appreciates the awesomeness if sarcasm
Kacieem 3
Hide yo kids hide yo beer
ohboyfml22 0
Are you in good hands? :)
GoW_Chick 15
And better protected from mayhem? That guy is an asshole.
ohboyfml22 0
Hahaha so true
KiddNYC1O 22
Omg, Becky's not even hot! Haha I love Mayhem.
silentbutfunny 0
Teenagers. Im willing to place money on it
Helluurrr 9
I've seen people around my age do a whole lot of crazy things, but it could have easily been an adult as easily as it could have been a teen. I've seen as many stupid adults as stupid teens.
ohboyfml22 0
Place money on it? Op is already out $400 haha
P374RD3D 9
People like Helluurrr ruin jokes
Helluurrr 9
Na, I'm just saying that it could have been either.. This wasn't what I'd really call much of a joke, though you may disagree.
Enslaved 38
$8 worth? Sounds like a few beers missing out of a 6pack.
SilentTreatment 7
Sorry Bro, that was me. I'll get you back, I promise. 0:)
XtraEzeee 8
Is that a surprised man with a unibrow or a smiley face with a halo? I'm so confused..
silentbutfunny 0
{:) unibrow
daydreamer244 13
Well at least they didn't take a shit in your car. You sir came out a winner today.
musicluvr2000 11
You lose $408 and a beer thief loses nothing other than dignity but gets to smash a window and get a free beer. Overall the status is OP: -$408 thief: :D
kingsley_fml 8
Was it Dos Equis? You stayed thirsty, then! Good for you.
Akharr01 5
Did i do that?!
GoW_Chick 15
Heheheheh *snorts and fixes glasses*