Clean-freak criminal

Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML

Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car's ashtray. FML

Loot

Today, my car got broken into. A small folded plastic bag and a few toothpicks I got from a restaurant were stolen. It's going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix and clean my car over a 10 cent bag and a few free toothpicks. FML

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

Today, someone caused over $400 worth of damage by breaking into my car, just to steal $8 worth of beer. FML

Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML

Foolproof plan

Today, after my windshield wipers being stolen twice in a row, I decided to hide in my car to catch the thief. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the new wipers were gone. FML

Vandals!

Today, I wanted to go shopping in my new car that I bought just a month ago. When I stepped outside, I saw someone had smashed the driver side's window. They didn't even steal anything. FML

Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML