Today, my very sheltered girlfriend decided to surprise me by cleaning our apartment. Although she grew up with housekeepers and maids, I thought it was common knowledge that you don’t try cleaning the bathroom with both bleach and ammonia. We still can’t go back inside our place. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML
Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML
Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML
Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, "WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH." I still can't go in the house. FML
Today, I decided to clean the whole house as a surprise for my mother. When she came home, she screamed at me and called me a bitch because she had wanted to clean it herself. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by cleaning the entire apartment before he came home. I even lit a candle and put fresh flowers on the table. When he walked in, he stared at everything and said, “Did someone come over?” My boyfriend thought a cleaning service had been hired. FML
Today, I cleaned our whole house. I wasn’t expecting praise, it was just the house needed cleaning so I did it. I also wasn’t expecting my girlfriend to get mad at me for “cleaning everything as a form of passive aggressively criticising her for her not having cleaned the house either.” What? FML
Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my girlfriend by cleaning the entire house while she was at work. I even lit incense to make it extra special. When she came home, she walked in, sniffed, and immediately accused me of "cheating or something" because "only guilt makes you clean this much." She also blamed me for adding more dust by burning incense. FML
Today, after leaving for a two-week-trip, and thinking this time my mom would finally have no choice but to clean the dirty toilet herself for once, because I’ve been doing it the entire year, along with most other chores, I think you can guess what I did first thing upon my return. FML
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Top comments
2deployments1divorce 11
It's amazing she's alive.
BurnInDemonFire 39
She must have been more sheltered than you knew if she didn't learn that lesson in Chemistry class.
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Comments (6)
BurnInDemonFire 39
She must have been more sheltered than you knew if she didn't learn that lesson in Chemistry class.
Grumpy Jack 27
I did not learn that in chemistry class. Glad you did.
2deployments1divorce 11
It's amazing she's alive.
coius 23
My wife’s idiot mother does this all the time. She’s completely stupid and doesn’t realize she’s creating a deadly nerve agent.
Yolanda Patrice Evans 17
You married her... that’s your mother too
RichardPencil 32
Common sense is not all that common. Tell your gf if she wants to surprise you, she can hire a maid and boss her around.
xxlk4xx 6
my grandma did this once when she lived with me and my parents, my older sister walked into the bathroom after grandma had been cleaning the toilet and it was smoking 😶
Grizz8831 14
always better to use small things you know well for a surprise than large ideas you do not. she could have hired a maid and taken credit, good surprise and you wouldn't need to know... or she could have baked a cake, bought ice cream... lots of things that don't include nerve gas.