Today, realizing how poor I am, I decided to steal gas. The only place I was brave enough to steal from was my parents' lawn mower. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was looking for a job. I was so desperate for gas money to drive around town that I had to steal $20 from my sister. She's only 10 years old. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML
Today, I heard water splashing outside of my house; I investigated it, only to find my dad, whom I don't live with, syphoning gas out of my car. FML
Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML
Today, I realized the only way I can pay my bills this month is if I steal from my 8 year old's birthday money. FML
Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML
Today, I had to drive down to my parents' house. On they way down, I needed to fill up on gas but unfortunately I'd forgotten my wallet at home with all of my cash and credit cards. I then had to call triple A and explain to them in all seriousness how I ran out of gas at the gas station. FML
Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
Today, I was standing in the gas station, pulling out my wallet to pay the $100 of gas I just filled my car with. I opened my wallet and found a note saying "borrowed money for food". FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
instead of stealing their gas, why don't you mow their lawn for some cash?
NOTquiteRAMBO 10
^ Horrible pun.
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Comments (151)
eyeIoveyou 4
i'm surprised that out of everyone you know, the only people you have the courage to steal from are your parents. the people who brought you into this world and have no problem taking you out!
fyl_darksouljoke 0
i see a very short, unsuccessful criminal career in your future.
KeyboardWarrior 10
1, 2, 4, and 5? That's weird. :O
beastmonkey95 3
Lawn mower fuel is not exactly the same so be careful how much you use
blacksswan 10
Meh' I suppose When things get tough you gotta do what you gotta do. Your good days will come. Keep your chin up.
odd_one23 4
grow some ball dude
urbandragon 4
To the people saying 'get a how's how do you know he doesn't already have one? You can have a job and still be poor, rent isn't cheap, plus utilities & food & insurance possibly christmas presents, pets maybe even a kid... Life can be expensive, shouldn't assume he has no job.
vieeev 4
Why dont you ride a bike instead and liggt candles and stuff that is the way to save money!
PeachyJinx 7
Y'all are being wayyy to friggin serious o_O You make it seem like he kidnapped a 2yr & ran over a kitten in the process. Yea stealing sucks, what the **** ever. I think the real problem is the fact he even had to resort to that.
justsomgirl 4
At least with the op's parents, he knows their financial situation. I would hope they're doing okay. Stealing from anyone else is just a douchebag move. They could be just as broke and needing the gas even more to get to the job they work at to EARN their gas money. (stealing from anyone is a dick move...but I'm giving the op the benefit ofthe doubt here.)