Today, realizing how poor I am, I decided to steal gas. The only place I was brave enough to steal from was my parents' lawn mower. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was looking for a job. I was so desperate for gas money to drive around town that I had to steal $20 from my sister. She's only 10 years old. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML
Today, I heard water splashing outside of my house; I investigated it, only to find my dad, whom I don't live with, syphoning gas out of my car. FML
Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML
Today, I realized the only way I can pay my bills this month is if I steal from my 8 year old's birthday money. FML
Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML
Today, I had to drive down to my parents' house. On they way down, I needed to fill up on gas but unfortunately I'd forgotten my wallet at home with all of my cash and credit cards. I then had to call triple A and explain to them in all seriousness how I ran out of gas at the gas station. FML
Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
Today, I was standing in the gas station, pulling out my wallet to pay the $100 of gas I just filled my car with. I opened my wallet and found a note saying "borrowed money for food". FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
instead of stealing their gas, why don't you mow their lawn for some cash?
NOTquiteRAMBO 10
^ Horrible pun.
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Comments (151)
kourtney23 2
Lol I think this is hilarious!
irockfendergirl 0
60- Oh yeah, it's just so hysterical that someone is so poor that they have to resort to stealing from their own family. I really hope you don't ever find yourself in a situation where you have to wonder where the money is going to come from to put gas in your car, or how you will pay for your next meal. It's pretty sad that you find this to be oh so funny.
chong420 0
Pussy
Xeera 1
get a job.
sheethapins 13
"Decided to steal" trumps "realizing how poor I am." Do odd jobs for cash, something like cleaning houses, walking pets, mowing peoples lawn... Just keep the gas in the lawn mowers if you do...
jaredjudd21 2
Ummm.. Maybe u should et a job. Just a though
TicklingIsFun 0
Yes because getting a job is really easy.
princessofdenial 2
Getting a job you *enjoy* may be difficult, but I'd rather swallow my pride and flip burgers than steal. Or OP could stick to his ways and go to jail. I hear some will teach you a trade. Woohoo?!
blinkingstarlet 15
I'm broke as hell right now. I'm a student and work 31 hours a week. I only make $9.00 an hour and I've been applying for jobs for over a year for both a replacement to my shitty job and second jobs to add to my shitty job. I've filled out hundreds of applications and I can recite my resume at this point from seeing it so much. I haven't had one call back. It's not easy to just get a job right now. Haven't you paid ate film? The economy is in the shitter.
blinkingstarlet 15
Not condoning stealing, for the record. I still think he's a jackass.
MelTheGreat 23
Haha. Good effort, but not great.
Patts_fml 4
Welcome to Rock Bottom Population: You
mattorama 15
Hopefully it's a two stroke mower and it screws up your engine, thief.
rhysfucker 24
I was just reflecting how proud OP's parents must be right now...
kingbling11 12
In soviet Russia, gas steal you!