Today, realizing how poor I am, I decided to steal gas. The only place I was brave enough to steal from was my parents' lawn mower. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was looking for a job. I was so desperate for gas money to drive around town that I had to steal $20 from my sister. She's only 10 years old. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML
Today, I heard water splashing outside of my house; I investigated it, only to find my dad, whom I don't live with, syphoning gas out of my car. FML
Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML
Today, I realized the only way I can pay my bills this month is if I steal from my 8 year old's birthday money. FML
Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML
Today, I had to drive down to my parents' house. On they way down, I needed to fill up on gas but unfortunately I'd forgotten my wallet at home with all of my cash and credit cards. I then had to call triple A and explain to them in all seriousness how I ran out of gas at the gas station. FML
Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
Today, I was standing in the gas station, pulling out my wallet to pay the $100 of gas I just filled my car with. I opened my wallet and found a note saying "borrowed money for food". FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
instead of stealing their gas, why don't you mow their lawn for some cash?
NOTquiteRAMBO 10
^ Horrible pun.
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Comments (151)
blinkingstarlet 15
Can't wait till your car breaks down because u stole mixed gas. Lawn mower gas gets mixed with oil. Fail. YDI if this is true.
NAAMxLOOS 11
Sell your car, buy a bike. Problem solved.
shadystyle 6
my Fml's were better than this
TheGreenArrow 3
Driving is a privilege and not a right buddy learn to walk bike or take public transportation. And where are you going anyways you are broke ? I doubt it's somewhere important
lsd_25 8
woa, we got a badass over here
angrynegro7 16
Time to focus on getting a better job, since you obviously suck at being a criminal...punk-ass.
NickPaulson 6
Low
taracrane1 7
How is this a FML? Who cares..
brittkay 4
That's not even good for your car! Ha
abethehonest 4
you coulda just asked for 20 bucks