Today, realizing how poor I am, I decided to steal gas. The only place I was brave enough to steal from was my parents' lawn mower. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was looking for a job. I was so desperate for gas money to drive around town that I had to steal $20 from my sister. She's only 10 years old. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML
Today, I heard water splashing outside of my house; I investigated it, only to find my dad, whom I don't live with, syphoning gas out of my car. FML
Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML
Today, I realized the only way I can pay my bills this month is if I steal from my 8 year old's birthday money. FML
Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML
Today, I had to drive down to my parents' house. On they way down, I needed to fill up on gas but unfortunately I'd forgotten my wallet at home with all of my cash and credit cards. I then had to call triple A and explain to them in all seriousness how I ran out of gas at the gas station. FML
Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
Today, I was standing in the gas station, pulling out my wallet to pay the $100 of gas I just filled my car with. I opened my wallet and found a note saying "borrowed money for food". FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
instead of stealing their gas, why don't you mow their lawn for some cash?
NOTquiteRAMBO 10
^ Horrible pun.
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Comments (151)
ZXDriver 0
Most lawn mowers don't use pre-mixed gas/oil. Even if you put in a small jug it wouldn't damage your engine, it'd just burn dirty.
rubberduckie94 13
well did you get caught?
Jason199615 0
That sucks OP been there done that.. things get better though
flockz 20
instead of stealing their gas, why don't you mow their lawn for some cash?
Troll_spray 6
Agreed, plus he might get lucky and get a free cup of nice refreshing lemonade.
tsim_fml 0
or nice refreshing gas?
ninjuh_wingman 29
Im not sure whether i should pity you or say you're a dick for stealing gas.
tylersign 11
Car-ma is a bitch. Oh, sorry, I'm just anticipating your future FML that reads: "Today, my car stopped working because I used lawn mower gas in it, which I stole from my parents."
memob123 0
No
tylersign 11
Yes.
vivaladino 7
maybe
iliketurdles 7
I don't know.
jamez1994 3
Lol can't wait to read that one!
traceruler 9
Exactly. Most lawnmowers use a mixture of gas and oil (as far as I know.) which will probably **** up OP's car.
Missporsha 0
Lmao?
jackassiddy 8
idk btw omg stfu
perdix 31
I don't know which is sadder: the fact that your parents won't give you a little gas, or that you think to steal it by the quart. This would be a good place for the voting buttons I proposed a few days ago.
DocBastard 40
If you've decided to steal, isn't it easier to steal money and then BUY gas? I do not condone theft. I do, however, condone not being an idiot.
tylersign 11
Not really, though. 1- OP doesn't have gas to drive to the gas station with. 2- OP is lazy. Why would they want to do extra work?
DjeePee 25
If you can't afford gas, you shouldn't have a car. But that's just my humble opinion.
jackassiddy 8
DjeePee.. while I normally agree with you I politely disagree with the logic here. There are many unpredictable events that can easily change someone's finacial situation. For instance: losing one's job, unplanned pregnancy, medical bills due to an injury.. just to name a few.
murdersquirrel 15
What do you do if you have a car but then find yourself in a situation where you now can no longer afford gas? Since situations like that are always permanent, right? Right now, I can't afford gas. I can get gas in the near future though. Sell my car anyway, with no gas in it? Who wants to buy a Beetle? It's old with high mileage.
DjeePee 25
Hmm, you're right, but my point was that if you can't afford gas, you shouldn't be stealing it, just so you can drive your car. Just go with your bike or on foot.
connor77_fml 0
I agree;)