rj
Goddard, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
baron
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Shooter71
France 🌶️ Spicy
It's not a competition, but still…
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Andrew
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
doomed
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
both are dimwitted
Los Angeles, United States
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Broken trust
🌶️ Spicy
Making whoopee
Today, after years of my wife having almost no sex drive, and always insisting on using protection, she suddenly craves unprotected sex like an alcoholic craves booze. I went through her phone and learned why. Yup, she's pregnant, cheated on me since day one, and her scummy side dick skipped town. FML
Anonymous
Iztacalco, Mexico 🌶️ Spicy
That's… sexy
Today, my wife threw up in the middle of sex, then fell asleep right after. I didn't even finish and it'd been over a month since the last time. FML
noneedtostress
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
Top comments
Il_Maestro 6
Either she cheated or I would recommend seeing a doctor about your memory.
linkinpark98 24
MAURY!
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Comments (288)
FranzFerdinand 18
"…Umm… immaculate conception?"
sharpshooter22ma 0
Mine is 5 months pregnant and I've been over seas for 2 years guess I'm finding me a new wife :(
simplylost643 0
#91- Damn man, I'm sorry. This world sucks ass sometimes.
courtneyann211 10
I'm sorry hun!! :(
felisaa 5
Maybe you should get your short term memory checked out(:
cameronman9 2
Well,hopefully you were drunk and you did it!
ddeathbombb 5
Maybe even more than one person!
Trollfourlife 2
sum won liks two get busie wen sum won don't loook
pexy_fml 16
No sex since last year with ur wife Without mentioning the pregnancy part you have a great story
rezzrhyme 0
some ppl sleep sex , middle of the night and have no memory of it
DogsPaw 16
*gets band of FML commenters together* Want us to kick his ass Noor?
bigcolt45bang 0
1-800-choke-that-hoe
SoultheWolf 19
Sorry to say, but you deserve this. It sucks if she has cheated on you, but it sounds like you aren't even trying to be intimate with her. Women need a sexual outlet just as much as men, so don't be surprised if she is trying to find another outlet. I'm not saying cheating is right, and I would never do it, just telling you some people have to have it.
icallbullshit 3
Then she being his wife would talk to him about it, so he doesn't deserve it.