rj
Goddard, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
baron
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Shooter71
France 🌶️ Spicy
It's not a competition, but still…
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Andrew
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
doomed
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
both are dimwitted
Los Angeles, United States
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Broken trust
🌶️ Spicy
Making whoopee
Today, after years of my wife having almost no sex drive, and always insisting on using protection, she suddenly craves unprotected sex like an alcoholic craves booze. I went through her phone and learned why. Yup, she's pregnant, cheated on me since day one, and her scummy side dick skipped town. FML
Anonymous
Iztacalco, Mexico 🌶️ Spicy
That's… sexy
Today, my wife threw up in the middle of sex, then fell asleep right after. I didn't even finish and it'd been over a month since the last time. FML
noneedtostress
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
Top comments
Il_Maestro 6
Either she cheated or I would recommend seeing a doctor about your memory.
linkinpark98 24
MAURY!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (288)
Hed_Hunter 2
Man you're mattied, how can you not have sex with her for a year?! Are you both out of wood or something..??
MoogleSam 8
Well, since 'last year' is only 5 months ago, it could very well be yours from just before this year or you could have had sex this year but not remember it. It might actually be what has caused a drop in her sex drive and the very reason why you haven't been having sex lately. And yes, it is possible to not know you are pregnant for several months because it is possible she has been exercising less, eating junk foods more, taking medications that increase weight gain or in general just having very few symptoms that couldn't be blamed on something else. @Everyone that seems to think sex is essential after marriage: What world do you live in? Some people don't like sex, some people don't feel the need for sex, some people don't have time for it, some people only want it on special occasions. Sex isn't something people need every few days to be happy or to live properly. That may be your ideal sex life, but it isn't the ideal sex life for everyone else so quit judging this poor guy for his.
icallbullshit 3
If anything you said about sex applies to anyone you know then they're doing it wrong. Sex is one of the most important parts in a marriage. No ifs and buts.
Aletheria_fml 9
Huh, no. Sex is NOT the point of marriage. Sex is NOT the point of a relationship, either... people get together because they want to. I like sex, my partner doesn't. I haven't had sex in three years. We've been together two. Am I dead ? No. Does it make me love him less ? No. Does it make me want to leave ? No. Does it make me want to cheat ? Nope. And he doesn't either.
JasonEP 3
He's cheating.
br0ccoli 15
Are you on Ambien? That may be the reason why you can't remember your late night romp sessions.
krmc822 6
Maybe you were boring her?
andrewsgirl2010 7
Maybe she had sex with you when you were sleeping O_O
asherm 15
Yeah they can test it through amniocentesis along with all the genetic stuff. I'm hoping it's just a case of OP was drunk one night and not wifey cheating
icallbullshit 3
Make sure you get a DNA test the second that baby is born, if it isn't yours you can divorce and won't have to pay a cent of child support :) if you don't though in most states of the usa they give you 2 years to prove you're not the father if you miss that then you're locked in. Plus minimum of 5 months without sex? In a marriage too? Try spice things up, you and your wife have an obligation to each other to put out, if she still won't might as well get divorced cos then it would mean your wife isn't attracted to you.
Penguin1942 0
Shut up Noor
twifan1901 0
MAURY! MAURY!
sexydaddy6804 1
get dna done