rj
Goddard, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
baron
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Shooter71
France 🌶️ Spicy
It's not a competition, but still…
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Andrew
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
doomed
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
both are dimwitted
Los Angeles, United States
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Broken trust
🌶️ Spicy
Making whoopee
Today, after years of my wife having almost no sex drive, and always insisting on using protection, she suddenly craves unprotected sex like an alcoholic craves booze. I went through her phone and learned why. Yup, she's pregnant, cheated on me since day one, and her scummy side dick skipped town. FML
Anonymous
Iztacalco, Mexico 🌶️ Spicy
That's… sexy
Today, my wife threw up in the middle of sex, then fell asleep right after. I didn't even finish and it'd been over a month since the last time. FML
noneedtostress
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
Top comments
Il_Maestro 6
Either she cheated or I would recommend seeing a doctor about your memory.
linkinpark98 24
MAURY!
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Comments (288)
Il_Maestro 6
Maybe it won't be that long at all if the OP can't remember much!*
starbucksguy 16
So your wife used rohypnol on you...
alzeer 5
I like the comment on your picture.
ChronicTortuga 0
She had to! He wasn't putting out!
debbster7 18
Why last year?? If she was pregnant and not showing (you would have known if she was) then it would have been more recent. Just THINK man!
SpottedZebra42 14
That's the point, moron.
twinkiefeets 17
Is this a pic of a gay boy band?
debbster7 18
My bad I read it wrong :P I didn't see the word since.
SpottedZebra42 14
I forgive you.
alzeer 5
One year!!!!!!! How old are you?!
vcapelo 19
D-I-V-O-R-C-E
llamafish 25
Congratulations you can spell! Would you like a prize?
DocBastard 40
It's another Immaculate Conception! You're about to be the father of god! Congratulations!!
Mitcha857 0
Of course that's the most logical explanation! There is NO way the wife cheated!
DocBastard 40
Cheated? What? No, my explanation is much more likely.
Mitcha857 0
Clearly Christ's second coming. Watch him be born Dec. 21st.
perdix 31
Why are you even married? If you are not having sex, you are just stuck with an expensive roommate who is messing up your game.
kakarot2 11
There is more to marriage than sex.. But then again, I'm a sex craved man just like every single one out there. What can I possibly know.
I_heart_sex 1
Agreed!
white16sox 19
93, it's a good idea to say who you're agreeing with. But, based on your name, I'm assuming you meant you agree with perdix.
PinkPinkPinkPink 0
Last year ? You deserved it bro .
Zachthejoker 10
You sir, are within your full right who the father of that child is, so u can dump the bitch an find the bastard she did it with.
Enslaved 38
Hopefully she "attacked" ;) you while you were sleeping and now it just feels like a wet dream.
perdix 31
That's what I thought! She probably thought his dirty talk was tedious or silly, so she ****** him while he slept.