Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Sorry, dude
Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML
Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML
Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML
Cursed underwear
Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML
Love is love
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
Spider-Maaaaaaan
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She went to the bathroom momentarily, only to be greeted by a 'huge' spider, which disappeared under a cabinet. Due to her chronic arachnophobia, this instantly turned her off and caused her paranoia all night. I essentially got cock-blocked by a spider. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML
It's getting hot in here…
Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML
Such a weird move either way
Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML
Top comments
scout333 15
When you've got moths in your groin, you know it's been a while.
catwomam 15
Personal hygiene is a must!
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Comments (110)
catwomam 15
Personal hygiene is a must!
noonenoeone 22
Agreed! It's disgusting to even have a bug on your body, but actually in your underwear?? Can't imagine how many days you'd have to go without changing your underwear for that to happen... She might have just used the moth as an excuse once she got a whiff of OP with his underwear off. If you expect someone to go down on you gotta care for yourself, this goes for both men and women!
WCARlover 35
You don't have to wear the same underwear for days for a moth to be in there...there has to be a first day that the moth gets in, which I'm sure this was. It was likely in there when he put them on from his drawer or something
9a_1z 12
Even if it was hygiene, I thought most couples get quickly accustomed to asking their partners to do a bit of spritzing up of the place if necessary. If your husband smelt funky wouldn't you be all 'go away and wash that thing first' instead of making up some lame excuse?
xyuukinekox 15
#15, You realize moths have absolutely nothing to do with hygiene right? It probably found its way in one night and ended up in his laundry. Alot don't get spooked that easily. It probably didn't even realize where it was. (There's a reason clothes get 'moth holes') There's not much you can do besides not open your door at nighttime and don't go out. lol. Moths are just butterflies of the night. They have nothing to do with being disgusting. They're not cockroaches. -.-
UserError94 18
Okay but what if a butterfly flew out instead? Then OP would have gotten points for dinner and a show.
mwali02 32
I don't see why others aren't concerned by this FML. If bugs were FLYING out of my significant others underwear, it would DEFINITELY kill the mood. Not saying that there won't be any offers ever again, but I may not feel like performing oral sex right in that moment anymore. Maybe later tonight or tomorrow, but definitely not right now. It can take time to get back in the mood after seeing a moth or other insect flying out of there. I am so sorry that OP didn't notice that a live moth was in there to begin with, but I do think OPs wife has a valid concern, and I absolutely agree with #1. Personal hygiene is a must, and everything you can do for maintenance is a plus. Don't give up OP! Tomorrow is a new day! Hopefully you never encounter the crotch bugs again! :)
LosinIt2008 14
Lol
Bunnyluver 20
That doesn't mean he is not clean. Moths eat clothing.
w0nderwh4t 14
atleast you still got something in your pants
whysobeachy 37
If I were OP, I'd prefer to have a python in my pants.
lexiale 10
#53, A python could kill me. I'd take the moth any day
CharismaGeek 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You've just met the all-knowing underwear moth! It's useful for sex; meaning no sex at all!
ciammmm 11
This made me giggle
Blake77_fml 19
Lol y so many down votes on this? Lol im next i bet
scout333 15
When you've got moths in your groin, you know it's been a while.
Enslaved 38
Maybe the moth got trapped in those cobwebs?
FMZiggy 22
"take the hint woman" - what you should have said
HeyyShayy 15
Eww how does that even happen....*looks at location*....oh.
tomvertigo 17
OP's girl is just lucky it wasn't a crotch crocodile or ******** tarantula.
leogachi 15
It was probably in your underwear when you put them on, or got caught in there when you were pulling your pants up after using the bathroom. Either way, I don't see why it made your wife change her mind unless she was laughing too hard or something.
nonsensical 26
Yeah I'm thinking they probably hang their clothes to dry outside after a wash, and when bringing the laundry in the moth didn't leave. I doubt it's a hygiene problem!
9a_1z 12
I don't get why she abandoned ship at the sight of a moth either, unless she has an extreme phobia and was too shaken up?
rldostie 19
I'm guessing she didn't want to put her mouth where a bug had been crawling around--even if the moth was a relatively recent addition to his wardrobe. Had it been me, I probably would've died laughing then told him to clean his area before coming back. Because bug legs and moth dust.
cupcakebruh 21
If yhis were to happen to me and my boyfriend, I would have freaked! I have a phobia of bugs, and if that moth would have flown into my face, I would have had a panic attack..
Lonewolf148 18
You're disgusting..
BrotherPhil 35
Why?
twarn15 6
Dude! **** blocked" thanks moth
dolphinlvr7 24
How do you not feel that?!
nonsensical 26
I don't know why but now I'm just imagining your penis being very dusty
whysojealous 18
I can see why! It's been months since spring cleaning! :-D