1337fade
Denmark 🌶️ Spicy
Such a weird move either way
Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
bleachingmykidsbrains
Montréal, Canada
Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Poop chute
Today, after her shower, my wife bent over naked in front of me so I went to dive in face-first, and she farted in my face for laughs. The thing is I physically saw some pieces of shit fly out and land on my shoe, and this was after her shower when she should have been clean as a whistle. FML
thedoc
Amarillo, United States 🌶️ Spicy
No kink-shaming on FML
Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML
Anonymous
Pompton Plains, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Anonymous
New Zealand 🌶️ Spicy
It's getting hot in here…
Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML
notinterested
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML
Ouch
🌶️ Spicy
Triggered
Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML
Anonymous
Goofball
Today, as I was folding laundry, I found some of my wife’s sexy panties. I’m kind of a hairy guy so I thought it would be hilarious to put them on and send her some goofy pics. She thought it was hilarious alright, mostly because they were our daughter’s not hers. FML
Husband
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML
Anonymous
Sacramento, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML
Top comments
SuckerPunchurMom 0
Yeah that always turns me on. Especially when I haven't showered in a while.
spikey818 9
that's awesome foreplay
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Comments (134)
spikey818 9
that's awesome foreplay
largefoofighter 0
and girls wanna know why we try to skip it to get the main event
SuckerPunchurMom 0
Haha agreed. No touchy, just fucky.
gutzzzz 0
OH BABY!!!!... I cant ******* breathe! stop it!!... gross...
largefoofighter 0
baby nothing turns me on like my own sack
leeshxx 3
your wife is simply reminding you "honey this is why i don't suck your penis. this is what it smells like down there".
mz_booty 0
mudslides or clean?
leeshxx 3
curls, what if its not furry?
Frelling 0
Take it from a seasoned muff diver, shaving doesn't improve the smell.
Frelling 0
I'm actually bi-winning.
leeshxx 3
well i dont know about other women but i smell fine lol. if it reeks down there attack them with some fem fresh!
Frelling 0
50, you can go down on yourself, you must teach me your technique. 49, Farscape.
leeshxx 3
no cant say i have lol
leeshxx 3
and the same goes with u blokes and ur outbursts of DNA. it tastes like bleach salt and chlorine
mz_booty 0
lol 59!!! advice for all men- drink pineapple juice and I promise there won't be a problem with ur taste hahaha
Frelling 0
Guys have to rim then.
leeshxx 3
69 you are a *******. i cant say it any nicer
leeshxx 3
oh ewwwy a period! grow the feck up! average of five days a month! u piss outta your dick and ejaculate the foulest tasting shit known to earth out of it and expect us to suck and swallow then say no i don't think i should return the favour? i ought to cut your dick off sir!
mz_booty 0
while she does that i'd be happy to cut ur balls and make earrings!!!
CaptinFalconKnig 6
I like pizza =o
broccoli2 0
I'm favouriting this FML just for the convo above^
MissFukMyLuck 0
I'm with 88. that was entertainment for my morning :)
trick619 0
kartilino is ****** desperate for any girls attention. what a douche. and of course every girl is going to tell a guy "yea I clean and I smell fine" it's not like a girl would be like "hey I wouldn't do that, I have quite a smelly snatch" haha
L0V34L1F3 9
lol 58! That I agree. That is a very good comparision.
webby580 0
skid marks!!
Sinkhole 26
Curlsgetthegirls, you seriously don't understand why pendatik called you an ignorant Aussie? He obviously didn't bring nationality just for the sake of it, he did it because you said "I'm not an illiterate American". So, you mention nationalities and then get mad if someone else does it too? It doesn't really matter if you're an Aussie or not, he was just trying to make a point, it seems like you're the slow one because you didn't understand that. Your other point doesn't make much sense either. You say that American English is lazy English for people who would rather spell phonetically, but I'm guessing that you didn't know that some words used in British English used to be spelt differently. Words like 'horror', 'mirror' and 'governor' used to be spelt with a '-our'. So, unless you keep spelling those words like that, I guess we can say you're lazy 'cause you spell some words phonetically too.
leeshxx 3
what a stupid ******* argument! seriously shutup
mattfim 0
agree with leesh. on a side note, what the hell is wrong with some of you!? nothing wrong with chewing the beef curtains.. get in there!!
shake_my_head 2
LOL!
BigEV 0
So much for passion.
muffpuncher 0
he's all mad about it, like he's never scratched under his nuts on a hot sweaty day and smelled his fingers after.
CaptinFalconKnig 6
at least if it's clean this shouldn't be an fml but if you dirty then this is a fml, yuck
RavenRiley007 4
lol at 75 but was she supposed to rub it in HER face?
khaya 9
Just be glad it wasn't your dick she was rubbing in your face.
SuckerPunchurMom 0
Yeah that always turns me on. Especially when I haven't showered in a while.
Sanela 1
LOL - your picture and comment is hilarious
hectorrrr_fml 0
sick
RavenRiley007 4
she probably wanted you to get a whiff of how smelly your balls were lol wife: here baby...take that!*rubs underwear in face* OP: aww what the fack ! hahahaha
GigglePony 13
OH I know this game, first you with your underwear, her with her underwear and before you know it, herpagonasyphilaids.
insanesna1l 0
if I ever discover a new STD, I am going to name it GigglePony just because I love how you mushed up other stds to make that cool new word :-)
franniedottp 8
63- so you're PLANNING on discovering a new STD? note to all people... don't **** that guy
182crazyking 9
Don't **** WITH that guy... he's so badass he calls his STDs ponies.
chrstygrl06 10
WTF that's disgusting!
smileeee_fml 0
hahah agreeed
number1beaner 0
get some payback give her a hitler haha
RomanBeauty 0
haha I automatically read that comment in cookie monsters voice
Jimboom 12
Perhaps it was more of a revenge act? Kind of like a "You like leaving me skid marks to clean... lets see YOU clean them with YOUR tongue!"
lilai1396 0
Awesome picture, just had to say it. Yay Alphonse!
WOODYfromthaBAY 0
thats fantastic foreplay. under wear always aroused me, let alone in my face? geez.. *wheres my lotion when i need it..*
jessicarenee88 0
yo woody... uh, no!
WOODYfromthaBAY 0
ur from oakland? nice. and u know my comment was absolutely hilarious.
chaleighrae7 4
hahaha(:
Slinkydalatg 6
You're wife likes it a little rougher than usual doesn't she.......?
SuckerPunchurMom 0
You mean kinky!
Frelling 0
Pretty sure they meant rougher, OPs wife was after a smack in the mouth.
paras0mnia 3
Smell it, smell it... now taste it. Depends how often you change your draws, I'm guessing not very often, because it was that bad to end up on here :P
smilessss 4
Kinky :)