Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML
Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML
Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML
Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She went to the bathroom momentarily, only to be greeted by a 'huge' spider, which disappeared under a cabinet. Due to her chronic arachnophobia, this instantly turned her off and caused her paranoia all night. I essentially got cock-blocked by a spider. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML
Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML
Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML
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Top comments
scout333 15
When you've got moths in your groin, you know it's been a while.
catwomam 15
Personal hygiene is a must!
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Comments (110)
Wrathexe 8
I guess this takes the whole bats in a cave, a whole meaning.
shrekattack99 4
Wow, takes moth balls to a whole new level!
lulinator 40
I laughed a little too hard at this. Mountain Dew out my nose is a glorious feeling in the morning.
FSGInsainity 15
Mountain Dew out your nose is a glorious feelling anytime
bella_nana347 23
Maybe you have.... Moth balls.
mattrd_fml 31
moth balls
nEXtIntoTheWild 5
Either personal hygiene or wasn't paying attention when putting on under wear. Not a pop-trunk-doves-fly-out situation init?
buckdharma 38
You need a fly swatter. :)
be82tw 17
Talk about magic trick! Though it will be much more impressive once you work your way up to doves.
Dictionaryspeaks 18
I would refute! A moth is better then froth!
doumtabarnack 12
I have one word. Australia.
toastbrot 9
if it was in australia, he would have been life blocked by some deadly moth.
philosophicallll 25
it was in Australia..
toastbrot 9
I can't see the location on my phone :(
BrotherPhil 35
Don't you mean didly?
idk_rose 25
It hasn't been used in so long, that's why.