Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML
Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML
Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML
Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She went to the bathroom momentarily, only to be greeted by a 'huge' spider, which disappeared under a cabinet. Due to her chronic arachnophobia, this instantly turned her off and caused her paranoia all night. I essentially got cock-blocked by a spider. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML
Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML
Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
scout333 15
When you've got moths in your groin, you know it's been a while.
catwomam 15
Personal hygiene is a must!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (110)
BawlmerHon24 17
sorry, but it's funny.
nomrana 14
cool magic trick. how'd u do that ? ?
UncleSplooge 16
Cartoon moment. Should have followed up with "It's been a while ".
OrganicSistah 17
lmfao
LeGly 5
Hahahahaha oh that's priceless XD.
samlovesham1234 9
Are you sure you're not the Mothman?
MissPessimist 4
dead below the waist. how can you not notice a moth fluttering about in your drawers?!
EarlFug 19
Are your genitals illuminated somehow?
hman1025 17
Looks like I've got a new phobia!
Cyrus00 41
I can just imagine a lone cricket chirping when this happened. Don't worry OP, it happens... (I think)