Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML
Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML
Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML
Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She went to the bathroom momentarily, only to be greeted by a 'huge' spider, which disappeared under a cabinet. Due to her chronic arachnophobia, this instantly turned her off and caused her paranoia all night. I essentially got cock-blocked by a spider. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML
Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML
Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML
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Top comments
scout333 15
When you've got moths in your groin, you know it's been a while.
catwomam 15
Personal hygiene is a must!
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Comments (110)
janfleury 19
Thanks for the laugh.
deejflat 17
The moth got more action than you did
schreibergx93 19
That is pretty gross.
moocowmilk0 19
that really blows dosent it :^)
BrotherPhil 35
The moth might, but apparently his wife doesn't.
TripleDallas123 15
YDI, you shouldn't have been cheating on your wife with a moth.
atlien247 16
Been a while, eh? Oh wait, OP is married. That would explain it.
NakedandAfraid 14
talk about mothballs... amiright
straightventing 11
At least you don't have roaches!
zarrganaut 17
Sounds like it's been a while.
hannahkonda 14
Moths are evil. I had one fly up between my eye and my glasses once and flutter around in an attempt to blind me even more than I already am. Just pure evil.
Grisha_fml 18
Maybe it was the same one...