Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML
Today, it was supposed to be my night off from the baby. Instead, my wife said she "couldn't even begin to deal", so she locked herself in the bedroom and I had to watch both my baby and my stepson, who both became hyper-needy the second she shut the door. This is the fifth time in a row. FML
Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
Today, my wife made me sleep on the couch because I ate the last Magnum Ice Cream bar. Last week, she bitched me out for singing too loud in the shower. I strongly regret leaving my ex-girlfriend of 5 years for this woman. FML
Today, my wife got back from a "homesick" trip to NY State. She brought her boyfriend back with her. FML
Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, I had to comfort my wife after she found out that her boyfriend wasn't faithful to her. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
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Top comments
SugarRushxx 0
I think your wife needs to grow up.
saIty 17
Snooki: Worsening the life of one person everyday.
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Comments (203)
HahaYDI 0
You're welcome.
edendacosta 4
Ehhh i watched that episode last night!!! AMAZING!!!
CryMoreFMLs 15
Oh my god. I agreed with the guy above me. I even read your profile. It would make a grammer nazi commit suicide.
GrammaticalNazi 2
:O...
GrammaticalNazi 2
Now that I've calmed down and my slit wrists have stopped bleeding, let's point out an obvious contradiction. This girl writes that she is 18, yet with the simple math on her own profile, one finds out that 'she is 17.' Wait - there's more! She also looks like a twelve year old in her picture. And faking an age (failing at it, I might add) seems like a very twelve year old thing to do.
Raydoodles 4
#105 reset the passwordfor my 6 month old account and logged in, just to vote your comment up.
Joey44 15
48. Why are you breathing?
soccerguy2 11
Youre wife is to young for you bro
Brooding99 15
Marrying a person that watches that show, means ydi PO. And your wife needs to wake up to the real world (and not the other reality tv show!).
DocBastard 40
Are you actually trying to suggest that this guy divorce his wife over this one stupid episode? Simply because she's immature, histrionic, selfish, needy, emotionally stunted... Wait, you may have a point.
Brooding99 15
PS: you could have written "Today, I have to admit my wife watches Jersey Shore, and I do to. FML" and I for one would have voted to have it post.
pgenereux 0
Really? REALLY? That is el lame o! Crying with or over a reality star is unacceptable. Punishing your guy because he didn't hold during the cry fest is, in a word, nonsense. Let him back in and quite being so sensitive.
ckilla421 0
It's shows like Jersey Shore, the Hills, and Real Housewives that make me slowly lose faith in America. Fyl, man.
asherah14 7
Wow OP you're wife is special. I loathe that show and can't wait for the day it stops airing. You're wife needs help. Good luck with your marriage.
izzy7 11
Reasons why I refuse to pay for satellite or cable... Thank you for adding to the list. Smack your wife, tell her to grow up, and be a man and take away the remote! Forever!