Today, I went straight from a kickboxing class to a first date. I coughed and a tooth that must have been knocked loose during free sparring fell into my hand, and I got blood on my shirt and the table. My date had a blood phobia and passed out, breaking her own front tooth on the table edge FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML
Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth before a date, I sneezed so hard that toothpaste flew all over my clean shirt. I was already running late, so I panicked and tried to wipe it off with water. It left huge wet spots. I showed up looking like I had just lost a fight with a giant toothbrush. FML
Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML
Today, my date got a cold before our date and accidentally took medicine that makes you drowsy before we went out. Two glasses of red later to calm her nerves, she yelled at a waiter, threw her shoe at the chef, then passed out on the table. I’m going to marry this girl, just you watch. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
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Top comments
Chen Zhibang 8
Consider that your first victory by a knockout.
RichardPencil 32
You couldn’t get through a first date without a domestic violence incident? This does not bode well.
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Comments (10)
Chen Zhibang 8
Consider that your first victory by a knockout.
cacheson 42
Man, don’t cough into your hand... rules of disease prevention!
RichardPencil 32
You couldn’t get through a first date without a domestic violence incident? This does not bode well.
tounces7 28
You went on a date after being all sweaty and shit?
kenken5 16
I’m guessing he showered and changed at the gym and drove straight there, therefore not much time had passed and he hadn’t realized the loose tooth
swervelol 28
well at least now you two have something in common!
BurnInDemonFire 39
What time was your date? Tooth hurty? I'm here all week. Tip your wait staff, because they probably had to revive your date.
alycion 39
If she goes on a second date, she’s a keeper.
magnumpeyote66 6
Truley you two are meant to be
Iki Chan Hoi Kei 3
please stay together so you’ll have a great story to tell your future kids 😂