Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML
Today, it was supposed to be my night off from the baby. Instead, my wife said she "couldn't even begin to deal", so she locked herself in the bedroom and I had to watch both my baby and my stepson, who both became hyper-needy the second she shut the door. This is the fifth time in a row. FML
Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
Today, my wife made me sleep on the couch because I ate the last Magnum Ice Cream bar. Last week, she bitched me out for singing too loud in the shower. I strongly regret leaving my ex-girlfriend of 5 years for this woman. FML
Today, my wife got back from a "homesick" trip to NY State. She brought her boyfriend back with her. FML
Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, I had to comfort my wife after she found out that her boyfriend wasn't faithful to her. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SugarRushxx 0
I think your wife needs to grow up.
saIty 17
Snooki: Worsening the life of one person everyday.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (203)
Lucas51_fml 0
Lol that sucks for you.FYL
chell1894 13
She's gonna be really crying when someone finally just kills Snookie
xhiizors 0
booshda :)
GrammarNazzzzzi 6
Or... If you wanna make her cry now, enter the room singing.. "Oompa Loompa doompadeedoo She looks like her face was hit by a shoe" ...or something like that XD
xleanne_aLly 23
You guys! Snookie doesn't deserve this!
Wheredidgrungego 12
She kinda does.... She's an ugly alcoholic who is famous for literally nothing at all.
seanders 10
Snooki is a short, fat, crab infested Oompa Loompa and the quicker she dies of alcohol poisoning, the better!:) OP, time for a new wife maybe? I know I wouldn't tolerate that bullshit.
ohxdamnxkay02 12
FIST PUMP, PUSH UP, CHAP STICK! ^_^
Jammy01jams 2
Bitches be crazy? Bitches be crazy...
Kyzahhh 7
Jersey shore is a pathetic excuse for a t.v show and anyone who likes it is a brain dead idiot
LiveLaughFML 10
#29 was being sarcastic lol. when snooki was crying, all she was saying was "I don't deserve this!" :P
crazychick1269 7
y'all are just jealous you can't fist pump :P
white16sox 19
You don't have a couch in your living room?
zombicidal 11
why do chicks insist on forcing their husbands/boyfriends watch this idiocy I feel bad for these guys
drawmesunshine 17
I like Snooki. I don't understand why she gets so much shit from everyone. Granted, I've only seen, like, two episodes, but she seems like a sweetheart :/
Jaxx66 21
So, I had to look up this jersey shore.... People watch that shit? FYL, OP. that's stupid :(
icanhazblivions 1
you had to look up the jersey shore?!?! crazy... I thought they had infiltrated the world with t-shirt time...
fat_snooki_lol 6
lol.
monkeys1315 0
I like jersey shore. Though I prefer vinny or Jenny to snokki. It was sad when she was crying
chell1894 13
No 34 she and the cast are famous for drinking and having sex. Pathetic
Melvar_10 3
FYL because ur wife watches Jersey Shore :/
ElmoStoleMyLook 1
Man, you deserved it -_-" if ur actually going out with a girl that needy and emotional you should see this shit coming
Alexstraza_fml 5
Yeah it does in multiple ways; stop being a bitch, the house is as much your as it is hers, break the door open if you need to. It's amazing to see how many men let their wives tell them to sleep on the couch
barbsillvy 10
I agree with you, she doesn't, but that guy needs a real woman as wife not a child like that, to hear things like that makes me sick, or not, cuz if a guy married a woman like that he deserves it.
barbsillvy 10
I don't cuz if they are with a 'b...' like that, yes he then deserves it.
godofcyanide 8
I'll start by agreeing 100% with #51. I work in a HS, and many of the kids actually do sort of look up to the JS clowns. The ultimate problem with reality TV is that it's not real at all. The producers contrive the situations and the "stars" ad lib through the scenarios... but their reactions are "guided" by the producers. (For the record, two friends of mine have been on reality shows.) So, what's worse than idolizing jerks? Idolizing jerks who are really just laughing at you laughing at them, while they fatten their pockets while you watch them do it. It's all about the money - which isn't wrong. I just shake my head when I see kids wanting to live the Jersey Shore life, when what they're seeing as "the life" is, to some degree, fiction.
RedneckRider 4
Your stupid. 1. Being snookie, If I lived a life where the world thinks of me as some bitchy ass alcoholic ***** as a person in my daily life then why would i be comfortable with it if i really wasnt? 2. I watched the show, I gave it a chance, I find Blue Planet on Discovery Channel more fascinating...
kosh_bl_k 0
#99 I had to look it up too. And I thank Ceiling Cat, for the fact that people like us still exist.
Cassidy_FML 8
LMAO, good one. Its funny how all drunk people do is repeat the same thing over and over again:P
mandymjm78 0
Ur wife is stupid for crying over jersey shore!!!
godofcyanide 8
256, to your first point, two things: She's worrying about what people think about her as she cashes an episode's paycheck that looks like your or my yearly salary. Second, there really is no such thing as bad press. One of my reality show friends was the show's douchiest character, and the response he gets in public is largely positive, especially when they realize he's not much of a douche in real life.
austin10mink 0
It's a REALITY tv show dummy!!!!!!!!!! How dumb are you
godofcyanide 8
Smarter than you. Read my first comment here about just how "real" reality TV is. I await your correction.
rocker_chick105 31
Oh Snooki...
fashionistaGirll 0
Such a retarded show...
1waytoolive 1
Thanks to snooki he isn't getting any nooki.
RavagedSouI 0
I think it's more "Thanks to snooki, they gonna break up"
CryMoreFMLs 15
85 - If a wife leaves you over THIS, then it's probably for the best. I can't imagine what would happen if they were to get in a fight.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Serious question: What the hell is a Snooki?
RavagedSouI 0
A snooki is an oompa loompa
MadPercussion 0
I hate jersey shore. I HATE IT!
angrymexican 8
I had trouble understanding this
ZeroIce 12
oh wow... sorry about that, that sucks
MagicallyFat 12
I would just leave. ******* jersey shore running the world
apv0222 0
Op got **** blocked by a midget.
rogergraton 0
Man up and dump the bitch, and why is there a tv in the kitchen anyways
SugarRushxx 0
I think your wife needs to grow up.
akayc32 0
Agreed... It's kinda OPs fault for marrying an idiot... Torn between YDI and FYL...
Bbhd05 0
That's why these Mormons need to stop marrying 7 year olds!
loski87 4
Damn lol
peteyfas 8
Yeah that's retarded
Snookie85 19
I agree, its only a show!
AnagenisisZagus 13
Oompa loompas have no rights, Snookie85. Silence!
AnagenisisZagus 13
Oompa loompas have no rights, Snookie85. Silence!
AnagenisisZagus 13
Oompa loompas have no rights, Snookie85. Silence!
DragonPorn 15
#214 #215 #216 "You stupid or somethin' kid?"
saIty 17
Snooki: Worsening the life of one person everyday.
MrSarcasm 4
I have a solution and it rhymes with Burst Marie Murmur. Or fuckshot.
music87 14
So true.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Worst Furry Wormer? Cursed Slurry Germer? I'll never figure this out.
LoveCali 0
SNOOKI is a great person.!I love her:)
austin10mink 0
You are dumb... Snooki is the biggest drama queen and attention seeker in the world
shortrevolution 0
Hah. At least you're not sleeping outside in the doghouse ;)
tehman117 21
No. Just, no
RebekahBrooke 9
Agree. She needs to grow up. And she shouldn't be watching Jersey Shore, either.
chell1894 13
Talk about some pmsing
RebekahBrooke 9
me or op's wife?
GrammarNazzzzzi 6
The world may never know
arin2009 0
Pretty sure he ment OP wife, worst show ever
2wenty0ne21 0
God ur cute rebeka, change that damn picture already.
ChecoJosuel 6
This has been bothering me for a while.. What does OP mean?
ileina 5
OP - original poster
san3 4
JSs shit.
raauul_4 5
Agreed!
Snookie85 19
Agreed
chessypie 0
Everyone hates that show for a reason
radiocaf 29
agreed. did you marry a 12 weather old perchance?
lilclare 0
I think you have some bigger issues if your wife wants you to hold her during Jersey Shore.
emag_eht 18
How old is your wife? She seriousy needs to grow up.
Doortje 30
Your wife is freaking crazy.
chell1894 13
Hey! She may just be hormonal
MrSassypants 34
What's the difference?