Today, I went to a store to buy some noodles, but they were out, so I left empty handed. When I left, the store the alarm went off so I was called back in, and they searched my bag. They didn't find any stolen goods. They did find a dead mouse my cat must have left for me, though. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, I lost my wallet while out shopping. Panicked, I retraced my steps and found it at a store, turned in by an employee. Grateful, I opened it to find a note that read, "We left the money but took one dollar for karma." I checked. They did actually take one dollar. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML
Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML
Today, I accidentally left the store with a bag full of groceries without paying. I realized this halfway to my car when an employee chased me down, thinking I was a thief. Turns out, I had spaced out and walked out during a fire alarm drill. FML
Today, I found a mouse stuck in a glue trap at work. I had to take it home to get it off with oil, and then I released it outside. Twenty minutes later, the cat returned it to me, dead. After that, the dogs dug it up where I buried it. Sorry, mouse. FML
Today, I tore through my apartment looking for my wallet. I was late for work, sweating, panicking, and blaming the cat. After 45 minutes, I found it. In the fridge. Next to the cheese. No explanation. FML
Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML
Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Note to self: stuff stolen items in dead animal to sneak past security. "Oh man, did my cat leave me ANOTHER distinctly iPhone shaped mouse?!"
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
oh man, it's time to get a purse you can zip close!
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Comments (35)
patwo8 14
Your cat loves you.
MessedUpLife00 13
Look at the bright side, no stolen goods! And, you have a new dead creature to show off! Two birds one stone!
ZombieSlaya115 17
Well I hope you were able to sort things out OP
morghandi 21
Ewwwww! Sorry for your gift!
URBeingLied2 23
That's what they said to my parents when I was born
CastaP 12
Your cat is trying to tell you, that you better bring home some good grub or the spouse gets it next! Also, check your bag before leaving home, sheesh.
Arkham_Callabero 15
As if OP was supposed to know that a rat was going to be in her bag
SherbetGlitter 26
Bad luck OP! On the plus side, at least a dead mouse is easy enough to explain and anyone with a cat will understand your pain. Doesn't ease the embarrassment but at least they'll understand the truth and not think you like toting dead mice around
Dragon1248 12
At least you didn't buy noodles with a dead rat in them...
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
oh man, it's time to get a purse you can zip close!
Tripartita 45
Note to self: stuff stolen items in dead animal to sneak past security. "Oh man, did my cat leave me ANOTHER distinctly iPhone shaped mouse?!"
yellowzinnias 20
Do you have an iPhone plus? They set some of the alarms off. I went into a store just to use their nail salon, so when I left I didn't have anything. The alarm went off, the guy rushed over and, when he realized I didn't have anything but my phone, wallet and keys, asked me if I bought my shoes there. What, did he think I came in barefoot?! lol
devinaww 15
Today, the store alarm went off when a lady tried to pass through it. I searched through her bag and didn't find any stolen goods. There was a rigid, dead mouse though. FML