Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML
Today, it was supposed to be my night off from the baby. Instead, my wife said she "couldn't even begin to deal", so she locked herself in the bedroom and I had to watch both my baby and my stepson, who both became hyper-needy the second she shut the door. This is the fifth time in a row. FML
Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
Today, my wife made me sleep on the couch because I ate the last Magnum Ice Cream bar. Last week, she bitched me out for singing too loud in the shower. I strongly regret leaving my ex-girlfriend of 5 years for this woman. FML
Today, my wife got back from a "homesick" trip to NY State. She brought her boyfriend back with her. FML
Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, I had to comfort my wife after she found out that her boyfriend wasn't faithful to her. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
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Top comments
SugarRushxx 0
I think your wife needs to grow up.
saIty 17
Snooki: Worsening the life of one person everyday.
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Comments (203)
bishop76_fml 0
YDI for marrying an idiot.
Bootle 10
Besides all the obvious stuff that the other commenters have already commented on, why do you have to sleep on the floor? Couch? Any other soft surface in the house? Or someone else's house?
My_Nightmare 19
How old is your wife? 15?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Anyone who is an idiot like the op's wife, and watches jersey shore like the op's wife, should make a line to the hospital so DocBastard can forcebly steralize(sp) you people, and hopefully then, america can learn it's lesson.
mozeltov 7
I put ydi cause OP needs to man up
THE_A_TEEN 28
what does that have to do with my comment?
Lexxya 7
You should dedicate some time to hel your wife with her problems. It's a matter of fact that she's emotionally imparied if she can have these kind of recation for a TV program. And I'm not even commenting on the fact it's something awful like that reality.
EvilDave 13
Close. He should dedicate some time to having his wife hospitalized until she is mentally competent again.
darkinkinda 0
If I were you it'd be divorce time because that's just ridiculous.
RedPillSucks 33
OP, this is where you hold her tightly... around the neck... until she stops watching "Jersey Shore" Sorry. Don't mean to encourage domestic violence. Get a French person to do this.
darkinkinda 0
I agree with the dude above me... And almost everyone else.
IscoreOnU 19
**** our world. What is it coming too now? Oompa Loompas making people cry. They were always such happy people.
EvilDave 13
No, that is wrong. OP needs to replace the door knob with one without a lock, then install a keyed deadbolt and keep the key. Then, he can lock HER out of the room all day, everyday.
killerwolf98 0
Liar