Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML
Today, it was supposed to be my night off from the baby. Instead, my wife said she "couldn't even begin to deal", so she locked herself in the bedroom and I had to watch both my baby and my stepson, who both became hyper-needy the second she shut the door. This is the fifth time in a row. FML
Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
Today, my wife made me sleep on the couch because I ate the last Magnum Ice Cream bar. Last week, she bitched me out for singing too loud in the shower. I strongly regret leaving my ex-girlfriend of 5 years for this woman. FML
Today, my wife got back from a "homesick" trip to NY State. She brought her boyfriend back with her. FML
Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, I had to comfort my wife after she found out that her boyfriend wasn't faithful to her. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SugarRushxx 0
I think your wife needs to grow up.
saIty 17
Snooki: Worsening the life of one person everyday.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (203)
hooligyn123 18
Remember: Every time you watch an episode of Jersey Shore, a book commits suicide.
Joey44 15
This.
frackhappens 3
Get rid of your t.v. Problem solved..
dakorok 6
Get a divorce; that idiot isn't worth keeping.
mic203 2
tell her that if she is gonna cry over nuthn maybe,just maybe she should sleep on the couch,i mean its ur house,on a side note:get a gangsta bitch,one who doesnt cry at soapies,funerals and nuthn,she just looks at the coffin and goes "its a cold world so the cold put their hood up".
Bless23 0
Jershey shore is a peice of shit television show. Go tell her to spend her time doing other things.
paramor3 23
I'm losing brain cells just thinking about someone else watching that show!!
omg_itssally 0
My sister made me watch it with her too.. I hate Snooki.. And all the guys look alike to me. Weird show.
kiakia0131 23
FYL dude! I saw like 10 minutes of Jersey shore for the first time last night while waiting for my carry out order to be ready... I wanted to shoot myself.
ladiesMan917 0
Snooki wans smoosh smoosh
Monkeysmommy1 0
File for divorce immediately, your wife is too stupid and/or immature to be married.