Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML
Today, a man easily 30 years older than me said hi in a bar, but I didn’t engage. Apparently that meant "Please rub your junk on my leg." FML
Today, my husband and I visited a new bar in our city. It turned out to be a swingers sex club. He asked if we could stay and try it out, even though we were easily the oldest people there by about 30 years. FML
Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me, "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML
Today, I'm 20 years-old and I was propositioned by a 42 year-old man, who turned out to be my dad's friend who helped care for me when I was 2 to 7 years-old. FML
Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML
Today, a cute new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML
Today, when my dad said he was dating a woman he met at his retirees social club, I assumed it was a woman also in her 60s. Nope. Barmaid. A whole 42 years younger than him, 9 years younger than me. FML
Today, after I met a guy online and we'd became fast friends, talking every day about everything, things got flirty after half a year of talking. A year in, I finally got the time to meet up with him. It turns out he lied about his age. He's 8 years younger and in college. I fell head over heels. Help. FML
Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML
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Top comments
A1V 5
Don't ever be that desperate... ew.
Azlia 0
it really doesn't sound that bad. anyone still picking up girls in a bar at 80 has got to have some fun and spunk in there.
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Comments (132)
A1V 5
Don't ever be that desperate... ew.
ShatteredDreams8 0
80 is NOT the new 30
Freeze_fml 17
It's the old 30.
AliceSaysFYL 0
Ew ew ew!
abbi96x 0
uh its like ******* your grandad... :l
ZleveL 0
^ great mental picture
sixtimessix 0
I loled #6
socalduude879 1
fyl for being into old pedos... that's ****** sick
VegasSkiess 0
op is disgusting. I pity u
skroal 7
Bom Chicka Wow Wowww. But YDI for being around people.
ElMundio87 0
ydi for doing something wrong, finding a man is easy
gohabs21 0
26, he wouldn't technically be a pedi, but it's still nasty
gohabs21 0
pedo*
suppressed08 2
the OP typed and uploade this FML from the old mans house :)
Sharpie23 7
if you are even decent looking you can walk into a bar and get laid in 10 min by someone who is at least your own age YDI for being clueless and/or a fat tub of lard
Brittney_E 0
thats just sad.
RyanG_21 0
you're 29 it couldn't have been THAT long. & I would just go home and pleasure myself rather than mess with an 80 year old. that's just discusting
cheergirly16 0
43 I think you might want to move your Boston terrier before he poops on your very cute rug. loll, and I agree with 45.
Chrisskiies 0
I'm thinking op is a guy since no gender is showing, which makes it even more nasty.... I think this because op was too scared to put his gender, before the trolls come along. Wierdos.. O.o
WingsFan80 4
26 and 31 there is no technically he wouldn't be a pedo. 29 years old is a grown up adult. look u
QuickNslicK23 0
chelsea straubbb
WingsFan80 4
damn iPod. look up where pedo falls and I would bet my life you will not find 29 years old anywhere near it.
okieraider71 4
I bet I can make a really accurate guess about something in your life. LOSE WEIGHT! If you are not a fat-ass, you can get laid no matter what.
paprikacha 9
That's just stupid. There are plenty of skinny people walking around lonely. Half the fools you see on the internet cursing the other gender because they can't get any are slender, and then you turn around and see happily married or at least happily dating heavy people out all the time. Just because someone can't find someone doesn't mean they're overweight, nor does it mean that overweight people don't get laid just as much as skinny people. They do.
MandaMoos94 0
Randomm what about chealsea staub??
OopsieDaisies 0
GROSS
soonersbaby21 0
that's disgusting op. the bright side? it seems you were given a ripe opportunity to pull an Anna Nicole smith and be with an old dude to one day get all of his money.
beeship321 5
Anyone think of anna nicole smith after Reading this?
ohSNAPyall 27
Maybe OP isn't fat or homely. Maybe it was just the Eau De Speration applied liberally around the ears.
Rwstudent1 0
you know... most of us might make it to 80...dont lnow if thats a blessing or a curse but all these comments are pointing to the latter.
swalch43 0
you're sick
karmaSUCKS321453 0
paprichaka is most likely a fat ass.
PizzaGuy11 0
80 is the new 79
bamditzki 0
put a bag on his face, prob solved.
losisdope 0
I bet 63 is "overweight" nahhh she's a lard asss
legonut4poser 0
its funny because you arent getting any
VioletRayOfSunsh 0
wow uhh..yeah lmao fyl dear!
ageofkyle 0
l0l
David199619 8
That's ******* GROSS!
ninidunut 0
To everyone saying pedo.. This don't make op a pedo . It's actually the opposite ?
Dashelle 25
Yuck.
taylorbear3397 0
loser!!
beautikill 4
aaaahhhh i just threw up in my mouth!
Gfrigo 1
I doubt that he can get it up...
Jessi_the_sexii 0
everyone needs some lovin
Perversive 0
yes they do but not ancient 80 year old wrinkly dick, dust fo cum loving
Trollz4daLULZ 2
what
fatguy805 0
lol so I'm guessing you would give him tha lovin?haha
shasui 3
oh god! eww D:
billyz77 24
How do you know it wouldn't have been the best sex of her life? They say the older the violin, the sweeter the music. Now with the invention of all the ED medicines, that old saying could really be true. Doubtful, but true.
Arsonnist 3
Get some 80 year old!
iR0ckSkinnys 3
Thats real desperate Op. He is probally a real dirty old funky man anways.No telling who he has been with.
billyz77 24
Experience beats youth every time. And how would you know anyway? You're only what, 12?
SirWhatsHisFace 0
So, are you a guy?
lamw02 0
nasty...
Azlia 0
it really doesn't sound that bad. anyone still picking up girls in a bar at 80 has got to have some fun and spunk in there.
Fnyrri 12
It was probably Barney Stinson. You totally should have gone home with him.