Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
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Top comments
Squadoosh 0
How do you not realize it wasn't your wife? Unless you just spun quickly and grabbed the first boob you saw.
fmlfmlfml15 0
Lesson learned: Look before you grope
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Comments (110)
freedoggy77 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ha! you fool. you totally deserved that one. and...first
Knight05 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I would of hit her in jaw and if she threatend to tell, it would serve as a reminder of what happens to snitches. Then I would of grabbed it again and said this is mine you stupid mark ass trick and I'll grab it when i want too.
Anna-nymous 8
another person's wife? wtf you're trying to get the feminists mad
trollin_fo_andre 0
FYL because breast groping is not socially acceptable yet
curlsandwhatnot 0
hah. "yet"
Duckasaurus 0
HOW THE HELL DO YOU **** UP THAT BAD?
screwtaylor 0
#18. STFU and make me a cheeseburger.
Imawhalerider 0
you want some fries with that?
humorizer 14
@63 I wouldn't mind making you a sandwich. (FYI, yes, I'm objectifying you by saying that ;p)
screwtaylor 0
#82. I also want a milkshake with them fries, aswell. And, to #86! FYI, I don't know where you're hinting at. Okay, good day.
Scorpitarrius 0
I'm gettin hungry. Either way, he coulda just said that he was checkin bra size. "They're melons!"
TommyGentz 0
Sandwich, as in a threesome
humorizer 14
Ok, no, my joke wasn't meant to be that perverted. I was just saying that I wouldn't mind making a sandwich since you're a lady... I guess it doesn't make sense much; but it's because I'm being like "oh how cute, she wants a sandwich. I guess I'll make one'
canucksrule88 0
@96 yeah that'll work...because people do that all the time right?
madZONE_fml 0
wow u sexist
Imawhalerider 0
129 lives on a prude farm
lildrummerboy47 0
I've had that before. I was at my girlfriends house and I was inches from grabbing her almost identical sister's ass. I was just relieved that I caught it in time. So OP I'm gonna say FYL because if they look similar it's hard to prevent those accidents.
Fmlfreak96 0
Thats not the real fml that means ur wife just went into the other room with the other guy
blooglekoogle 0
#18 you are a dick hole in the worst possible way.
rockinbecca2 4
Ass
no1askdu 5
you know she probably enjoyed it...
funnyshit432 0
doubt that.
AnaMaree 0
She probably did. The ****.
blooglekoogle 0
#2 I seriously doubt that.
Chibi_Hiroko 18
Now I'm curious where his wife and the male guest went together… 0_o
r83839 22
Read the FML.
heyitslain 0
YDI for grabbing something that isn't yours. And, #1, you fail.
kapowi 0
YDI. How could you not realize it's your wife? Disgusting pig.
justmyluck1212 0
the word "grope" screams YDI
Squadoosh 0
How do you not realize it wasn't your wife? Unless you just spun quickly and grabbed the first boob you saw.
Escapist28 0
The way you said that made me laugh more than the FML did.
399 41
lol
fmlfmlfml15 0
Lesson learned: Look before you grope
phiaphia 0
hahahahaahaha that was a good one
kubes89 0
haha... just a case of mistaken identity..lol you shoulda said that you wanted to go to the swingers bar
sarah_berah 0
oops?
moonlight_daze 8
Before the scream and the slap, it sounds like you were enjoying yourself!