Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
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Top comments
Squadoosh 0
How do you not realize it wasn't your wife? Unless you just spun quickly and grabbed the first boob you saw.
fmlfmlfml15 0
Lesson learned: Look before you grope
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Comments (110)
Jake221 0
Wow Ydi for not checking
drmike_fml 0
hahahahaha
glassisass 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
where the other ladys boobs bigger? did you enjoy playing with them? even though you only had a little time to do so? :)
moonlight_daze 8
I know, right?
Z00daCrew 0
Hickory Dickory Dock... you're freaking stupid. YDI.
aurorelle 0
Wait so, your wife went into a room with the other guy AND you groped the wrong chick? Damn, FYL.
sexyReDD 0
lmao.
sexymessy 0
LOL that's what I was thinking!
CFR 0
Rofl #20 I thought you said chicken.
justanotheruser 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI ...guys are just freaking stupid and immature.
moonlight_daze 8
Is that right?
tonyDlolli 0
yeah agreed women are clearly supperior... at cooking and cleaning
Underwhelmed 0
LOL
dlbliner 0
excuse me?! cooking and cleaning? hmm, okay, it'll be funny until your future companion hears you say that, then you'll be alone having nothing to eat but the crap you're living in. then guess whose going to be laughing?
blooglekoogle 0
**** you you sexist people. everyone is equal excpet for the fact that we can keep this species alive while all you think about is meat and sex. oh and also girls cando anything you can do, better, in heels.
daemonsparta 16
and we're not questioning why ops wife went off with the other guy to another room.... mhm....
thelonelylurker 0
Hahah, they won't come over anymore.
Octiskeet 0
Aaaaand you didn't notice this lady was most likely wearing a shirt/dress an entirely different color than your wife's clothing? YDI.
NorfolkDude 2
Were you just staring at her boobs all the way? How could you not recognize your wife's boobies? Next time when you're getting down on it, make sure you have the lights on.