Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
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Top comments
Squadoosh 0
How do you not realize it wasn't your wife? Unless you just spun quickly and grabbed the first boob you saw.
fmlfmlfml15 0
Lesson learned: Look before you grope
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Comments (110)
AnimalPorn 0
You are the man, you deserve a medal for that
MaddogTotten 0
At least you got to touch on some strange booby. FML should really read: Today I fondled a pair of fun bags. As it turns out, they weren't even my wife's! MyLifeIsAwesome.
iwadasn 33
Why is it that it's fine to refer to a woman's breasts as "fun bags" but everyone clicks "YDI" because someone referred to a man's testicles as "happy sacks"? That seems like a bit of a double standard...
Conkers 0
Maybe she screamed and slapped him because she liked it? It doesn't specify where she slapped him, afterall.
Brey1013 0
Niiiiiice ;) the "accidental" grope. +10000 coolpoints for sheer guts!
gummibehrs 4
Wow STFU. Are you 14?
Brey1013 0
Ive Just got a sense of humor cheif, u should try it one day.
xo_emily_xo 0
Yum? haha, jk. And, no 108. Go **** yourself, because you're clearly not getting any.
Belgian 0
OP ftw!
Fett 0
haha free feel, btw FYL
netbeui435 3
winwinwin
k1ng 0
you sly dog. motor-boating SOB!!
gummibehrs 4
My question is why her husband and this guy's wife went off to the other room alone together.
canucksrule88 0
swingers? ;)
Darthbane2007 19
Maybe to the living room?