Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on how to properly put on a condom. She doesn't trust me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to Google how to last longer in bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to "ruin my innocence." FML
Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML
Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
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Top comments
Froley 0
Just because she wants to make sure she's safe and you know what you're doing, you think she doesn't trust you? Be happy that she trusts you enough to take her virginity. YDI.
cabbitt 0
I don't trust you either.
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Comments (136)
RedPillSucks 33
OP, did the conversation go something like this? him: Oh baby, are you ready? I'm sooo hard! her: Ahh! honey, pull up to my bumper baby! I'm hot and ready to be ridden!!! him: YES! Get Ready For Me to Knock Some Boots!!! her: Can you put a condom on? him: what? her: *whips out macbook, googles 'condom'* Ok, tell me how to put one on him: *now very limp*
ZsaZsaGaboa 14
It was the macbook that did it.
buddyboy23 0
cockblocked by an apple
Daederoth 10
and? Did you pass?
x_CDiizzlee_x 0
I really don't think it's that hard. Imma girl.
cmac86 24
there are instructions on the package!
vbmg152 19
Take it from someone who got pregnant at 17 yrs old!!! She's doing the smart thing, if you don't like it them there's this thing called abstinence!!! I'm definitely on her side!! You don't want a baby!!! I love my kids but 17 was too young!!! I don't know your age but suspect you are young.
Lisa89 3
Apparently having a baby at 17 has caused you to put exclamation marks after everything..
doof_fisch 2
She already lost it.
innerexlet 0
it's probably the auto correct on these smart phones. plus if your going to nail someone with grammer then use less complicated words.
taylorr14 0
sounds like a personal problem
PointAndLaugh 0
Isn't it implied that your girlfriend is a virgin, if she wants to lose her virginity to you?
notagoodayforme 0
it's ok, meatheads aren't supposed to think.