Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to "ruin my innocence." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML
Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on how to properly put on a condom. She doesn't trust me. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML
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Top comments
WolfieZero 1
I think to say "get it on with me" shows you should keep your innocence...
Pastor_Rich 0
that means she's banging someone else, run like the wind
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Comments (60)
WolfieZero 1
I think to say "get it on with me" shows you should keep your innocence...
White667 0
Logically, this dudes only real chance is to go out and sleep with someone else. I mean, that's basically what she's saying. and if not, she's obviously not thinking long term so what's the harm.
zach055 23
Just tell her the amount of times that you jerk off per day, then she will see that your not so "innocent"
a_z__0_9 0
hehehehe awww
SlightlyGPirate 0
if it was me, you wouldn't have a scrap of innocence left =]
youaresofucked 0
what?! You're 15 !!! LOL
Magnus_the_Red 0
woah...can't decide what to say...interesting...or sweet...eh, both can be applied here, i guess...so, i choose to say both.
MadVlrus 1
Rawr? :P
lagodfatha 0
damn girl
Druu 53
Girl, you need Jesus!
febag 0
Make her suck your d i c k and tell her your innocence is gone and that you can f u c k her now :)
Pastor_Rich 0
that means she's banging someone else, run like the wind
nb1234 8
I have never heard a pastor speak like this! :o
Kiwi_Grimm 0
Hm...strange. Maybe she just wanted to make sure your first time is with someone you truly love. Either that or she has AIDS or an an STD of some kind and doesn't want to give it to you.
hebahpotamus88 3
dusnt condoms like not let tht stuff pass thru tho
black_sher 7
I dunt no u shud gugle it
Glam_fml 0
Maybe she isn't ready yet, so she is just using that (lame) excuse. Only you can decide if you want to "get it on" or not.
WonderBlunder 0
Maybe that's her hint that she's into s
boro_freak 0
she's either a quite silly minded person, or she's just looking for an excuse to dump you since she doesn't like you anymore or even likes another guy.. it's obvious........
Uepari 0
Seriously!? GUYS! Get your minds out of the gutter! She's probably a girl who believes in not having sex before marriage. OP, this neither FML nor YDI. If she says that, you respect that. If you just want sex and you can't stand the idea of her refusing, then I hope she dumps you, because she deserves so much more. BTW, if you wanna lose all faith in humanity, just read the comments before mine.
Magnus_the_Red 0
yeah...about that... i know that isn't true because she called me about a week after we broke up to tell me about the amazing threesome she just had. in detail. then she told me that she had been blowing more than one guy in the months leading up to our break up. that is just a few examples of the sexual adventures she has had since we broke up. one month ago.
Scorpitarrius 0
Wow. Bad choice in women, eh Magnus? Either way, you got my respect for commenting on your own FML. And yes, your life is F'd, and I've been through the same scenario. :/
LemmingsKillMe 0
shit one, but a guy who uses a warhammer primarch as a kickname has got better things to do :P nice ^_^