Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on how to properly put on a condom. She doesn't trust me. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to Google how to last longer in bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to "ruin my innocence." FML
Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML
Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
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Top comments
Froley 0
Just because she wants to make sure she's safe and you know what you're doing, you think she doesn't trust you? Be happy that she trusts you enough to take her virginity. YDI.
cabbitt 0
I don't trust you either.
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Comments (136)
fwongraven 10
Ummmm, so? She's never had sex before and wants to lose her virginity in the confidence that you're being 100% safe. If your gf's ready to have sex with you and you're sat on FML complaining about this, that's kinda pathetic.
hiyouitsme1 0
who cares?!? deal with it
mouxouxou 11
It seems that she has a reason that she doesn't trust you...
skyeyez9 25
Actually, alot of guys can't even put one on properly.
jackirose 0
funnie stuff:) hah you ain't trustworthy. sucka.
joey23 0
Atleast You Got Some.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
You two need to watch the "Proper Condom Use" episode of South Park. You might learn something from it. If not, it's a great episode :)
Skroal_stomper 5
Red rocket episode is much better.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
It's the same episode. That's usually what I call it though :)
Sammara 0
"My girlfriend has never had sex before, and is willing to have her first time with me. However, she wants to make sure she doesn't get pregnant. FML" WTF dude.
krissyluvsu 0
better safe than sorry
AgeIsJustANumber 0
agreed. sad attempt at humor bud