Dirtisgood
Today, my in-laws told me, in all seriousness, that my kid was going to end up paralyzed because I let him play on grass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Don't blame me!
Today, my parents told me they're getting a divorce because of all the strain caused by me nearly dying in an accident. FML
just me
Overath, Germany
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Rowville, Australia
Shady tactics
Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
kayin
United Kingdom
Awkward silence
Today, I was giving a tour for parents who wanted to send their kids to our school. One of the parents had a kid on crutches with what appeared to be a broken leg, so I asked him how he broke it. He replied, "I was born like this." FML
Anonymous
United States
Coming through!
Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML
anon
United States
Straight to jail
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Claus
I would do anything for my kids
Today, I took my kids to an indoor playground. My two year-old wanted me to climb the rock wall and ring the bell. I slipped right when I was about to touch it. I landed wrong and felt a 'POP' and agony. Hello, broken ankle. FML
Braced
United States
Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML
Anonymous
Knoxville, United States
Be cool for once in your life
Today, I attempted to give a motivational speech to my kids, trying to inspire them with life lessons. They then asked me why I couldn't "do a cartwheel like all the other parents" and challenged me to try. Now my back hurts, and I’m questioning my life choices. FML
dad
United States
So, here's the thing…
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
So that's why those "Keep off the grass" signs exist! I thought they were just put there by assholes who think grass needs to be kept neat and tidy so they look important.
J352SAURUS 30
I think having in-laws with beliefs like that is an FML.
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Comments (23)
BurnInDemonFire 39
So that's why those "Keep off the grass" signs exist! I thought they were just put there by assholes who think grass needs to be kept neat and tidy so they look important.
adcf04619 8
believe me it's true one time I went on grass and my legs just stopped working entirely...
joedude967 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
sorry, but this isnt an FML
J352SAURUS 30
I think having in-laws with beliefs like that is an FML.
Winterfan 6
They meaned lyme disease? I know this is not a serious site but i want to say: yes, please be careful! Check your child for tickbites everyday!! And beter: prevent... Use the special anti-tickbites spray.
ARISKomuniszt 24
Kids should not be on grass... Whilst it might be legal in your state for over 18 year olds or medicinally, it can increase chances of developing schizophrenia and brain damage if taken regularly by those with still developing bodies. ;)
BurnInDemonFire 39
I was gonna do a weed joke, but then I got high.
wanted_2_want 40
It’s the other kind of grass. The less expensive, that those grandparents were afraid of.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
ask them when was the last time they had a catscan
Charlie Given 28
Wow do they believe that the earth is flat too🙄
distortedcognition 17
I thought everyone knew vaccines cause autism and grass causes paralysis! Good thing they were there for your kid!
Gradask 10
There is a , for them , logical reason for this. When polio came around in the 50:ties , they thought it was caused by playing on moist grass and leaves , so the recommendation was to avoid wet grass and for children under 5 to play on a play mat outside. And for you who dont know what was, it is child paralysis. So it isnt as weird as it look, it just outdated advice.
tounces7 28
I feel like this is possible if you lived in Australia or such. Everything there can kill or paralyze you.
chosha_fml 27
Yeah, no.