Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, I'm pregnant and feeling awful due to all-day-long morning sickness. My doctor suggested that I cancel all my social plans to be able to keep working. My doctor is also my husband, and the father of this child. FML
Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML
Today, as I was pulling into work at 15 weeks pregnant, I projectile vomit all over myself and my vehicle. I had an emotional breakdown as I went back home, and called my boss to let him know I would not be in that day. I am now looking for a new job. FML
Today, at work, I had some palpitations, which ultimately caused me to become hot, dizzy, and pass out. I couldn't go home because we were so short staffed, and three different colleagues asked me if I was pregnant. FML
Today, my boss fired me because he found out I'm dating his daughter. Now I'm concerned what he might do if he finds out she's pregnant with my child. FML
Today, I got rear-ended while on my way to work. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't pregnant, suffering from a horrible UTI, and running a fever. My boss called in sick, so now I'm stuck running the office alone. With whiplash. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Last week my coworker, who I sit next to 5 days a week, returned to work after bereavement maternity leave. FML
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Top comments
JenkJenks 6
That's pretty selfish of you. Try to keep your pregnant germs to yourself from now on.
Wizardo 34
Why does it seem like almost every boss in the world is either really stupid or really incompetent.
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Comments (88)
B5B0N35 18
Your boss is a dumb ass no offence
botanistjessica 24
I'd use spell check before calling other people dumbasses.
Bakarra 22
Dun h8 on #1 gaiz heez spel corectly u gaiz r dumb #swagyolo420 #justme #funtimesonFML
kakarot2 11
No.
Han1156 23
I could literally feel the stupidity of that comment trying to seep into my brain
realeah 4
Offence is not a word (it's offense). Nor is gaiz. It goes against logic to use an equally long word as an abbreviation. i.e. 'gaiz' is not an abbreviation for 'guys.'
wdd2 5
Actually, offence IS a word, it's the british spelling of the word. So before you go grammar naziing people, do a little research.
Bakarra 22
'twas the point 43, the only person who could defend #1 would have to have soooooo muuuuuch swaaaaaaag
Bakarra 22
It's like people don't know I also hate swag and am joking? I'm not sure...
JACKxRAWR 22
NO! Lots of offence. Lots and lots of offence.
Mr_Satan 11
Yep, the best defense is a good offence.... dunno what that has to do with this though.
3rdbass 9
It would be relevant if you spelled "offense" right.
wdd2 5
They DID spell it right, offence is the british spelling, and since it is in fact thd original spelling, it is equally if not more correct.
B5B0N35 18
I know i have horrible spelling and i was being sarcastic calm yourself
cherry72 13
*Offense (I hate grammar Nazi's, but this was overboard) OK there's my 2 cents for the day, take it or leave it.
colby6666 43
Actually 86, offence is correct in England. Therefore, you just made a complete fool of yourself, especially because you misspelled "Nazis".
foxyhasmybooty 16
They said nazi's notice the comma and quit being a dick they are correct in AMERICA we don't all live in England
Capriciousfox 27
Call down Mr. Satan
Wizardo 34
Why does it seem like almost every boss in the world is either really stupid or really incompetent.
botanistjessica 24
Stupid is practically synonymous with incompetent. Therefore, every boss on the planet must be stupid. Definitely the reason they made it to management.
expertsmilee 26
Most managers do not need to be in management, and I for one often question how they made it there in the first place.
Bakarra 22
They say it's all about who you know...
HeadlessSparrow 20
Because nobody is going to write an FML on here saying that their boss is awesome.
timelessone 16
Mine is but if I told you who they might demote him.
Wizardo 34
I'm guessing its all about how many dicks you blow or if you genuinely work for it... or the former.
icemand90 17
those who cannot do, teach. those who cannot teach manage...
caysters 12
Basically where I work, it's all about who you know... Or what language you speak. You speak English, you ain't getting far... Funny, I thought I lived in the us... Hmm...
dubleduke 11
Because only the stupid ones get on FML
Sam_Dchi 23
what an insensitive bastard
arsenicalhumor 30
#3 I do believe that could be why they posted it
SadGirl18 16
That's when you ask if he got the sickness too. She had to get it somehow!
yetanotherginger 19
Now we just need OP to comment saying whether her boss was actually aware she was pregnant, or whether she hasn't told him, in which case he couldn't help but be wrong about this.
lufflala 6
Whether he knew doesn't matter, claiming his gf 'caught' OP's illness was his shit way of making excuses for his gf. I would love to know what happened after the OP told him what was up, if she did tell him.
JenkJenks 6
That's pretty selfish of you. Try to keep your pregnant germs to yourself from now on.
Misswildsides 22
Yeah, bad OP! You shouldn't pass pregnancy onto other people!
Mossears133 15
It's not THAT selfish, she was sharing her her pregnant germs after all!
Silly_Lilly6969 23
Your boss is a total dumbass.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Apologise for impregnating his girlfriend you evil, heartless woman!!!
Bakarra 22
The boss probably thought OP and his girlfriend watched one of those 3D **** videos together and so they both caught the pregnancy while he was away so technically OPs fault
Pleonasm 36
You managed to impregnate his girlfriend with your baby? Props, your son (I'm assuming, then) is going to be VERY fertile!
Bakarra 22
Sex Education, now available in the womb.
alkerh 8
Well no, and that's the problem. First it was teen pregnancy, now...
limitedition 25
You're pretty amazing if you could pass pregnancy along to his gf!
stevothedevo 25
That's something they don't teach you in sex ed..
HowieDoIt 21
Oh crap, I think by reading this, I caught the stupid from your boss.
s0m3guy2010 21
Thats rediculus. U cant catch stoopid by reeding FMLs.
rg350dx 29
How did you...? Are you a wizard?
Soloman212 28
Editing comments. (Sorry for ruining the magic.)