Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, my son decided he wanted roasted marshmallows. It would've been fine, except he put the entire bag into the oven I had preheating for pizza and caught it on fire. FML
Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML
Today, my son watched some ridiculous Japanese cartoon about shokugeki cooking and is convinced he's the greatest cook ever by copying what happens in the show. He set fire to my frying pan, panicked, and dumped it in the ceramic sink, which cracked from the heat and flooded my kitchen. FML
Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML
Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
Today, I tried to make a grilled cheese sandwich for myself, but as soon as I started, my mom rushed into the kitchen and criticized me for making it "wrong". She then made the sandwich for me. It tasted significantly worse than when I make them. FML
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Top comments
br0ccoli 15
Son: "You be grillin my cheese all wrong, yo. Get out my face, bizniych. *cries*. Imma make this shit myself..*phone rings*...Oh hello, mr. Hildebrandt, yes I will be at the office on Tuesday *hangs up*....pshh that boy be tripping...**** we're out of red kooilaid. Oh heyyl noo. No koolaid?!?! *cries*"
ScottieJo 8
lol. I actually have passionate hate for those white boy "gangsta". Or "wiggers" as they sometimes call themselves.
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Comments (237)
rattusrattus 19
Bit old to be a tit, isn't he?
Fisheyedfool7 2
No, he's still on the tit sounds like.
sarah6786 14
Maybe it's because you're still making his grilled cheese, and he's 28.
Sir_derpington 2
Pretty fly, for a white guy
SystemofaBlink41 27
Offspring! :D
tomiller64 0
Ever considered abortion?
Llama_Face89 34
Late term abortion.
sarah6786 14
I thought it was humorous. Then again I also realized you were talking about now, which is what made it funny.
Axipiter 24
Post partum abortion?
supportcommand 17
Parents should be allowed to eliminate their children. They brought em in. They can take em out.
Kiyaralovestolol 14
Omg. This made my week
tne201992 12
Oh did we travel through time? Last time I check this week isn't over.
kdskin 1
So what your saying is you have to be black to be a gangsta
MrBubblez98 13
No, but probably 90%+ of gangsters in America ( US and Canada) are black people.
Fsvb 32
.. And who raised this gangster?
TheDrifter 24
No, Al Capone was a gangster. This kid is going for gangsta, and getting it wrong.
Fsvb 32
@77 Sarcasm, please recognize this. Of course this guy isn't a gangster.
TheDrifter 24
I got the sarcasm, but couldn't get past the misuse of gangster instead of gangsta. It's a pet peeve of mine, as they're two very different subcultures.
Fsvb 32
.. You have got to be kidding me. You didn't really make that clear in your other reply, the difference of gangsta and gangster and I'm sorry, but I don't think anyone really cares about that difference..
yoursucklives 36
i didn't know there are gangsters in quebec. i always imagined it as a place were everybody likes everybody else and all people are friendly and speak french.
TheDrifter 24
No, they're mostly arrogant and rude, with a fondness for public protest/rioting. That said, its somehow hard to take anyone speaking French as dangerous, the language is just too soft and happy sounding.
perdix 31
How's he supposed to enjoy rapin' and robbin' with the taste of burnt rubber in his mouth?
MrBubblez98 13
Reminds me a bit of J-Rock from Trailer Park Boys...