Today, my son decided he wanted roasted marshmallows. It would've been fine, except he put the entire bag into the oven I had preheating for pizza and caught it on fire. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML
Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, my idiot son incinerated his shoes in the oven. They were wet and he wanted to "quick-dry" them, so now the whole house smells terrible. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, my son dropped a firecracker in my flour storage bin, probably thinking the pop would make flour go everywhere. I guess he’s never heard of a dust explosion because what he actually did was set fire to the flour, causing such a violent shockwave it blew the kitchen window out of the wall. FML
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Today, my son watched some ridiculous Japanese cartoon about shokugeki cooking and is convinced he's the greatest cook ever by copying what happens in the show. He set fire to my frying pan, panicked, and dumped it in the ceramic sink, which cracked from the heat and flooded my kitchen. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
How old is he? I want to know if he's young, and didn't know better, or if he's old enough for a smack, and a "How could I have raised this kid to be a ******* moron?".
Zekfen 17
Nothing like the smell of burning plastic to wake you up.
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Comments (9)
BurnInDemonFire 39
How old is he? I want to know if he's young, and didn't know better, or if he's old enough for a smack, and a "How could I have raised this kid to be a ******* moron?".
Glowworm56 27
Wait, you mean that's not how you're supposed to roast marshmallows?
Zekfen 17
Nothing like the smell of burning plastic to wake you up.
TumblrweedPasses 11
Depending on his age he either needs the belt, to be sent to scouts or he was just trying his best Which one OP haha
ViviMage 40
And of course you can't eat anything with melted plastic on it. Just do what I did. Speared it with a fork or knife and put it over the stove gas burner. Microwave can also work.
onceuponatime456 16
That'll teach you for raising an id 10 T.
XUDT72 24
Now that's what I call a sticky situation...
LordMagus 9
Time to provide the kid, hopefully it is a kid, some basic cooking lessons. By the age of six my girlfriend's daughter could do basic things in the kitchen, though obviously we watched her carefully. Hopefully your son is just really young, had a craving, and didn't think it through. The basic kitchen safety and cooking protocol would be a good idea, I mean if he is a really young child, go with just the kitchen safety stuff, tossing things in a hot oven could end a lot worse than melted plastic. Could have stuck a bottle of Drano in there just as easily.
Stephanie Claire 12
Ahh I’m glad I’ll never have children