Anonymous
Ridge, United States
Fire hasard
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
SadDad
Alexandria, United States
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
myfamilyisodd
United States
Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML
It feels fucking awful
Pucker up
Today, on a whim, I decided to try to light a fart on fire. I now know how it feels to take a dump when you have a burn directly on your asshole. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
Anonymous
Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
wah wah "you raised him"
San Francisco, United States
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
naomi3271
Loud fart
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
derped-out sperm
Ireland
Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML
Anonymous
Fredericksburg, United States
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Jen
Philadelphia, United States
Today, my son decided he wanted roasted marshmallows. It would've been fine, except he put the entire bag into the oven I had preheating for pizza and caught it on fire. FML
Top comments
bulletsinthewind 21
All in the name of science
stangbang92 17
Did the flame get sucked in?
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Comments (84)
SoloAutotunE 17
Remember, boys will be boys
meli1195 31
I think it's more like: stupid people will be stupid people
TH_Insomniak 15
I do that stuff and I'm actually very smart. I just like to do stupid THINGS. know the difference.
GokuSS400 18
There's a reason why natural selection is a thing ;)
TH_Insomniak 15
I guess that's why I'm still alive huh. just smart enough to do stupid things and still get by with it.
may14th 26
You may be getting away with doing idiotic things now, but just wait.
MrSassypants 34
#22 If it makes you feel any better, if you eventually do get killed doing something stupid, no one would be around to say "I told you so."
TH_Insomniak 15
oh I've been punished for it multiple times, broken bones and all, I'll admit to the "I told you so thing" wouldn't bother me at all. if I die, you guys'll definitely be right! lol, but until then, Ima enjoy myself
man_down 5
#15 you out emphasis on the wrong word
TacoloverSWE 23
"Stupid is as stupid does" -Forrest Gump
dolphinlvr7 24
Actions speak louder than words. If you actually do stupid things like that, then u couldn't be that smart
gorgeous_vixen95 12
Why did this get disliked?!? It's so true and halarious!!
bulletsinthewind 21
All in the name of science
nash1991 20
Did the flamethrower backfire?
xx000o 27
Did you leave him at the ER?
LalapaloozaChick 14
did he get it on video?
Iwannarock1 19
You know he did. It'll show up on YouTube before long.
Edumcg 24
At least he will appear on FailArmy.
KhaleesiDannie 26
I love the smell of burnt intestines in the morning
koganti 18
you are being so pathetic !
I_own_a_dog 11
Your face pisses me off
the_real_dvd 21
Not sure why so many thumbs down. Maybe people aren't getting the Apocalypse Now reference? Excellent movie.
MmmPinkTacos 11
#23....why? at least she's confident enough to put a pic up of herself, unlike other people
Sunflora219 26
Khaleesi, I think you have a beautiful face.
KhaleesiDannie 26
Thank you very much DVD Taco and Sun you're very kind
willsnow18 11
burnt anus is better
Skycop_S 23
._.
VonBlitzkrieg 27
But it's an indication that he's definitely not a Targeryan.
stangbang92 17
Did the flame get sucked in?
kingdutchhy 19
I hope his dreams didn't 'go up in flames'.
Xeebar 28
Did you argue at all? I hope it didn't get heated. I don't mean to be cheeky. I just can't help thinking that your son will now be the butt of many jokes. All in all, I hope he's okay and no one thinks of him as an asshole because this whole situation stinks.
coops456 14
You tried too hard
sweetbliss3 37
how do you know? maybe they didn't have to put very much thought into it. I thought it was fun to read.
Lalala579121 28
Well, he almost became a Darwin Award recipient.
flyingflies 36
The important question is: how old is your son?