Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, my son decided he wanted roasted marshmallows. It would've been fine, except he put the entire bag into the oven I had preheating for pizza and caught it on fire. FML
Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML
Today, my son watched some ridiculous Japanese cartoon about shokugeki cooking and is convinced he's the greatest cook ever by copying what happens in the show. He set fire to my frying pan, panicked, and dumped it in the ceramic sink, which cracked from the heat and flooded my kitchen. FML
Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML
Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
Today, I tried to make a grilled cheese sandwich for myself, but as soon as I started, my mom rushed into the kitchen and criticized me for making it "wrong". She then made the sandwich for me. It tasted significantly worse than when I make them. FML
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Top comments
br0ccoli 15
Son: "You be grillin my cheese all wrong, yo. Get out my face, bizniych. *cries*. Imma make this shit myself..*phone rings*...Oh hello, mr. Hildebrandt, yes I will be at the office on Tuesday *hangs up*....pshh that boy be tripping...**** we're out of red kooilaid. Oh heyyl noo. No koolaid?!?! *cries*"
ScottieJo 8
lol. I actually have passionate hate for those white boy "gangsta". Or "wiggers" as they sometimes call themselves.
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Comments (237)
priceyfml 7
Grilled cheeses are terrible burnt :(
WickedWolf 11
You raised him... What do you think you did wrong? I'd be like "shut the **** up, make your own damn sandwich and get a ******* job" and he'd be lucky if I didn't hit him with a frying pan.
canopenerbob 2
He's 28 still thinks he's a "gangsta" and presumably still lives with you? Not sure what's the saddest part of that....
rkp93 1
You deserve it for raising a kid who, at 28, can't even cook his own meals.
doglover100 29
Why couldn't he make it?
Twisted_Angel 17
Sounds like a real Kodak moment... or maybe a YouTube moment.... I promise once his friends saw that, he'd go from "gangsta" to Steve Urkle in about 2 seconds.
bobbos100 2
He's a real inner city dude. They all cry under pressure unless they have their gun-- check his bureau to see if he has one so be carefully about those burnt toast and grilled cheese
yoster3 7
What a loser
WickedWolf 11
You made him a grilled cheese. He's 28. There's your problem. XD
GypsyRover 0
Sounds to me that you are being a enabler.