Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML
Today, I learned that bunnies mark for territory. And when I say mark, they do a 360 no scope piss and spray everything all over the walls. The smell is horrendous. FML
Today, my father taught my son to pee on the trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML
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Top comments
Endymion_fml 0
Pee on him right back. That'll show who's boss.
Yulia_fml 0
It's not his fault if everyone's always telling kids to apply what they learn in school.
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Comments (104)
happypapp12 0
Sue the school
ViviMage 40
For what, teaching animal biology? And we shou,d sue the school for sex Ed too, right?
Sm90 0
Haha, that's hilarious!
alya_fml 0
tell him that if he wants to be an animal, then you'll gonna treat him like one and say him he's gonna sleep on the floor and gonna eat dog food. he'll come round.
wombats_fml 9
Eww! Kid needs to be taught some basic things...
tokyohenjin 5
YDI for not respecting his territory.
brushababyy 0
ydi for invading his territory. and snickerdoodles fails at life for being a Ginger.
babybubz 0
HAHAHAA!
AngryNinja 1
uh not all gingers are like snickerdoodles. i happen to be a 'ginger'.
farsidee 0
Really? It doesn't look like it.
autistic_pride 0
How is the second floor his territory and why is that a bad thing? I don't understand.
taycandy96 2
he peed all over the second floor "marking his territory" like animals do
spinx13 0
YDI for breeding a moron
perdix 31
In college, they don't have time to say "Don't try this at home" for every potentially hazardous fact. Too bad you didn't let him stay in the dorms, where behavior like this is not only acceptable, it's "cool!"
maxgray 0
This made me laugh so hard! At least you can be sure that he's taking in what he's being taught at school :D