Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML
Today, I learned that bunnies mark for territory. And when I say mark, they do a 360 no scope piss and spray everything all over the walls. The smell is horrendous. FML
Today, my father taught my son to pee on the trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML
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Top comments
Endymion_fml 0
Pee on him right back. That'll show who's boss.
Yulia_fml 0
It's not his fault if everyone's always telling kids to apply what they learn in school.
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Comments (104)
catpawz38 0
Hopefully you aren't renting... if you are, try to keep your kid confined to the kitchen so he won't keep making messes on your carpet lol
olw25 0
funny... he needs a whooping. I'd laugh the whole time though.
coolster56 0
not really since you can be 4 and in school and at lots of schools they actually teach stuff beyond 1 1 but this is so cute
lolz4ever 0
that's the best...your son must be adorable and tottally funny...wish i'd thought of that when i was younger....that would have been the best!!!!
HermonieGranger 0
It would be funny if he brought a whopper
randohsix 0
wow I just started reading the comments on these things like 20 minutes ago, does snickerdoodle's stupid ass comments bother everyone else as much as me?
Fatman_Studios 0
this will make a great story to tell his high school girlfriend later and act all nostalgic about!
Zamax 0
This would definately be something that Calvin(Calvin
jolipetitamour 0
haha! that sucks, but your son is one smart little dude! :)
lightning7 0
you need to show him who's boss