Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML
Today, I learned that bunnies mark for territory. And when I say mark, they do a 360 no scope piss and spray everything all over the walls. The smell is horrendous. FML
Today, my father taught my son to pee on the trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML
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Top comments
Endymion_fml 0
Pee on him right back. That'll show who's boss.
Yulia_fml 0
It's not his fault if everyone's always telling kids to apply what they learn in school.
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Comments (104)
ryan__h 1
haha that would suck
reiyu 0
FIRST!!
MagicalPegicorn 0
snicker I think that was his point..
rebornhunter25 0
man that was funny as he'll but I feel bad for you hope all works out
WonderCut 0
Wow. That was exactly word for word of what I was about to say.
marc33 0
ur not first... dreamer!!! lol
datgo321 0
he had a lot of pee to cover the entire second floor
bceltics2199 0
that sucks but atleast it will be a great story to later tell when he starts a family
fylreally 0
Sucks because you can't clean it up (Its his territory).
mikeyj5 0
jeez
Averizzle 0
Damn did that piss you off?
Menick47 0
haha! that's why ur not first retard!
jackg 0
GINGERRRRRR
kasimM10 0
stfu
iCrazie 0
lol snickers guess what SECOND lol you being pissed off at a guy posting first is an fml all by its self.XD
reiyu 0
^dammit beat me to it.. anyway FIRST AGAIN!!
adrod 0
well there goes ur upstairs.... blows dude lol
malcolm44 0
u should of marked ur territory in his room
sexybeastsexybea 0
wht do you mean by apparentally.
metalmusic 0
All I can say is baking soda. And it's seriously time for some disciplanary action.
drilher244 0
disciplinary action? just get him a litter box haha
JF4509 0
thats gross D: you should give him a spankie
badwolf504 15
Why?
Endymion_fml 0
Pee on him right back. That'll show who's boss.
vvn91 0
Lol. That's exactly what I was thinking. XD
ajscw 0
lmao
WonderCut 0
lol pee on him. Well guess what? There are now laws saying you can 't abuse your child. If it was legal I would so the same.
originalusername_fml 0
that's not abusing the child, that's marking him as her/his territory 8D
Ashle1gh 14
If he's going to act like an animal, treat him like one. Buy a leash and tell him to sleep on the floor, he'll learn soon enough.
Treig 3
Ooo, I like that. Kudos.
thrice324 0
I agree, don't forget to walk him and let him out to pee in the backyard at night or he might start to claw at your door, very irritating. Teach him tricks too.
calaholic35 0
Of course, child abuse should be legalized...
dphilipson12 0
I say piss on him.
Yulia_fml 0
It's not his fault if everyone's always telling kids to apply what they learn in school.
advent2060 4
I'M A DUMBASS kid
Sdras 0
Don't feel bad. At least he learned something. If only you learned to raise your kid properly.
HanaxD 0
That's gross.