Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML
Today, I learned that bunnies mark for territory. And when I say mark, they do a 360 no scope piss and spray everything all over the walls. The smell is horrendous. FML
Today, my father taught my son to pee on the trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML
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Top comments
Endymion_fml 0
Pee on him right back. That'll show who's boss.
Yulia_fml 0
It's not his fault if everyone's always telling kids to apply what they learn in school.
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Comments (104)
Gum_fml 0
it's amazing what the schools are doing to mold you childrens minds nowadays
trumpetGIRL12345 0
I was sirious put him in a crate!!! how old is he cuz u gotta do something about this
RyuB 0
oh, my. poor you. bet you're looking forward to his rebellious years as a teenager. sadly, being a male, he will probably find some new disgusting thing to do once he's tired of that. console yourself with the hope that he may get some girl pregnant when he's 16 and you can kick him out. and whatever you do, don't forget to tell that story at his wedding reception.
luke1998 0
ive peed in my cats liter box it was funny
XXizzlerXX 0
haha
Garcia512 0
don't go up there he might attack lol
stevenJB 25
Tell him to "please respect mah athoritah!!"
jujuroxursox 15
That's a piss poor job of understanding the difference between human and animal
ViviMage 40
Get nature's miracle from a local pet store, or try vinegar on hard surfaces/baking soda on carpets. And explain he is not an animal, this is unacceptable behavior for humans. Ground him. No cell phone, no internet, etc. Or better yet, make him clean up the pee mess. Make him realize how not cool this was.
magicGriffon 5
put his face in it like a dog, that'll teach him