Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML
Today, I learned that bunnies mark for territory. And when I say mark, they do a 360 no scope piss and spray everything all over the walls. The smell is horrendous. FML
Today, my father taught my son to pee on the trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML
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Top comments
Endymion_fml 0
Pee on him right back. That'll show who's boss.
Yulia_fml 0
It's not his fault if everyone's always telling kids to apply what they learn in school.
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Comments (104)
kimicalassassin 0
I must have monkeys. They all did the slinging sh!t thing.
quraishakrueger 4
mark it with yours! :D
radcon6 2
thats funny.
MrMaelstrom 3
Do not punish your child. Educate the child. Marking territory means dominating. Taking ownership, if you will. Make sure the child knows it belongs to you by pissing on the child's head. Education is very important at a young age...
epicenur 2
stick his nose in it and say "NO!" then spray him with water
ColdGold 6
There's a guy at work like that. Always pissing, always marking his territory. He smells like it.
c00lsk8erboi 7
lol hope u don't have carpet
Anonymously15 0
loool that reminds me of our cat ! =P
Hobo_stickfigure 0
hell no it's not, go up stairs and reclaim that second floor!
trumpetGIRL12345 0
6-you are totally right man I would do that same thing
trumpetGIRL12345 0
do what I do with dogs tell him to get in his crate and lock him in a cage (kidding) ROFLMAO