Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, my sister shoved a fire extinguisher up my leg while I was asleep. Guess she was too dumb to realise CO2 extinguishers are minus 60°C, because I now have freezer burn up one thigh into my crotch and yes, even on my balls. The whole area has come up in fluid filled blisters and some of the skin has peeled away. FML
Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML
Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I was naked and the wife tried to flick my bum with a wet towel. Unfortunately I bent over at the wrong moment and the towel cracked right against the underside of my dangling penis. The whole underside is bruised, it hurts to pee, and God help me tomorrow if I get morning wood. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML
Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
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Top comments
xxlk4xx 6
that is horrifying 😳 I always use my flat iron in the kitchen, then when I'm done I unplug it and keep it on our flat top stove until it cools down so I can out it away!
Slim87R 7
You need to talk to your wife before she burns the house down. Bedding and mattresses go up in flames stupidly fast.
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Comments (4)
xxlk4xx 6
that is horrifying 😳 I always use my flat iron in the kitchen, then when I'm done I unplug it and keep it on our flat top stove until it cools down so I can out it away!
Slim87R 7
You need to talk to your wife before she burns the house down. Bedding and mattresses go up in flames stupidly fast.
ropoa 11
Wow! She sounds like a dumb ******* idiot! You're lucky your house didn't burn to the ground.
bidet 10
Get her to kiss it and make it better