Today, I politely asked our overweight neighbour to park on her side of the garage. Three unsuccessful tries later, she drives out and parks on the street in a huff, and I'm now the world's biggest bastard because she can't legally park on her side and still open her door due to her size. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML
Today, I drove to buy new sneakers to work out and lose weight. Coming out of the store, I saw someone had parked too close to me. I had to beg a stranger to back my car out for me, because no matter how I tried, I couldn't get into the driver's seat. FML
Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML
Landscaping
Today, my husband discovered our neighbour's fence was over our property line by 6 feet and kicked up a fuss about moving the fence. It turns out my husband can’t measure for shit. The fence is actually inside the neighbour's property, and he insisted we move it. There is now no room to park my car. FML
Today, the last parking space outside my work was tiny but I tried to parallel park there in desperation. A school kid saw the whole attempt and sarcastically clapped me as I gave up and drove away. FML
Practice makes perfect
Today, I had to come to terms with the truth that I'm absolutely terrible at parallel parking. After three failed attempts, I finally gave up and parked in a spot labeled "No Parking" just to make it stop. Of course, a car pulled in right behind me and blocked me in. FML
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML
Not my best work
Today, I thought I'd finally mastered the art of parallel parking. Feeling proud of myself, I got out of the car to admire my handiwork, only to realise I'd parked halfway onto the sidewalk and completely blocked the entrance to a cafe. I had to sheepishly move my car while enduring the glares of annoyed pedestrians. FML
Assumptions
Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
Top comments
InfiniteSunshine 32
You're not a bastard. Your side of the garage is your property, you are perfectly within your right to tell her to move. If her weight makes some things difficult, she should know she's going to have to compromise sometimes. This is her problem, not yours.
RichardPencil 32
All you need to do is hang an object from a string hanging from the garage ceiling to guide your neighbor into proper spot. You'd be the world's biggest bastard if that object was a donut.
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Comments (26)
InfiniteSunshine 32
You're not a bastard. Your side of the garage is your property, you are perfectly within your right to tell her to move. If her weight makes some things difficult, she should know she's going to have to compromise sometimes. This is her problem, not yours.
UserError94 18
Why can't she just reverse In or vice Versa?
Sady_Ct 38
Agreed. This is not your fault and you don't deserve this.
Solano2580 24
It's your property, just tell her that compromises need to be made.
ohsnapword 21
I fail to see how your neighbor being fat is your problem.
RichardPencil 32
All you need to do is hang an object from a string hanging from the garage ceiling to guide your neighbor into proper spot. You'd be the world's biggest bastard if that object was a donut.
zeffra13 31
It's not that she can't drive into her spot, it's that she can't open the door wide enough to get out of the car from that parking place. She probably has the right side of the garage so her door opens to a wall (since they're in Germany so driver's side is on the right).
RichardPencil 32
I'm thinking there would be a precise placement where she could stay on her side and get the door open. She'd need the hanging donut to guide her into that exact position. Plus, she'd get a donut as a reward.
Dirtysalamander1 13
that's why you reverse park
vicewinner 5
Drivers side in Germany is left. But of course, the wall might be the problem.
Chemystery 0
She shouldn't be parking in your side. You should never feel bad for speaking up for yourself. If you feel bad for her though, maybe the two of you can make an agreement of sorts to switch parking spots?
im_teekay 7
Or she could reverse in so her door was in the middle of the garage - then she could get the passenger side really close to the wall and give her door even more room
AussieGirl92 0
this might result in her car door hitting his car when she tries to get out
Chemystery 0
She shouldn't be parking in your side. You should never feel bad for speaking up for yourself. If you feel bad for her though, maybe the two of you can make an agreement of sorts to switch parking spots?
lantz4levi 19
Learn to back in then or loose some weight.
Catdragon 40
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
And how the hell do you know her medical history? Oh yeah that's right you don't. For a lot of the people its much more complex than losing weight. If they have mental issues and use eating as a form of coping, then they won't lose weight. If they have physical problems, that will make it harder to lose weight. Many medicines have the side effect of weight gain. It's not just a black or white world.
somedudesomewher 29
Here we have a fine example of a triggered SJW. Let's not fat shame anyone. Let's just yell at thin people for being thin.
Catdragon 40
I am not yelling at them for being thin. I am yelling because we have no idea why they are fat. So how can you say to lose weight when you don't even know why they are fat or if they even can lose weight.
Mathametic 14
If they have mental issues and they use eating as a form to cope, then it's their own fault for being fat, go find some other way to cope. You can't blame it on the mental issue, it's not forcing you to eat, have some willpower. If they have physical issues that prevent them from training, you can still perfectly lose weight by watching your food, dieting isn't hard. I don't know enough about medicine side effects to confirm/deny it, but I doubt that there is any medicine that will cause you to gain enough weight to be unable to get out of a car like a normal person, this of course assuming that it's just the medicine, not the person eating horrible shit next to their medicine.
brezzyanna 17
Y'all are dicks. Not the original comment, but the rest of you. Theres no reason to bitch so much about this comment, but theres also no reason to insult the neighbour. Quite often, being obese is caused by a mental disorder. Its not something they can control; its the same idea as anorexia, with the opposite coping mechanism. She can definitely get help and fix it, but it isnt her fault. Besides, OP asked her to stop parking there and she did. Theres no reason to insult her for that.
Seabass_Chan 33
People are bitching because the Tumblrins SJW crowd is notorious for attacking anyone that won't pander to "oppressed" people. Internet users are sick of it and possibly overreacted. This woman could have a mental or physical disability that prevents her from losing weight.... or she could simply be too lazy to stop shoving food in her face and exercise. If you can't get out of your own car without a fight something is either seriously wrong or you need a larger vehicle.
WinPoe 3
Medicine can make you gain weight. I had a medication that messed with my hormones and caused me to gain 10 pounds before we caught it and made changes to the right dose. Sometimes you don't have the luxury of not taking it. That is still not Op's fault and his neighbor will have to make the appropriate changes herself to be able to park and get out of her car.
Catdragon 40
I'm not trying to say it's ops fault or problem, I'm talking about all the commentors saying she should lose weight, or otherwise being a dick about her being fat. My issue here is not with the op, but with the people commenting.
vicewinner 5
All she has to do is to park backwards. Then, the door is on the other side.
kk456 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Doofe Kuh, also deine Nachbarin. Du kannst nix dafür wie fett sie ist, und es ist mega dreist von ihr, deinen Parkplatz zu benutzen. Greetings from Rhineland-Palatinate :D