Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML
Today, I learned that bunnies mark for territory. And when I say mark, they do a 360 no scope piss and spray everything all over the walls. The smell is horrendous. FML
Today, my father taught my son to pee on the trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML
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Top comments
Endymion_fml 0
Pee on him right back. That'll show who's boss.
Yulia_fml 0
It's not his fault if everyone's always telling kids to apply what they learn in school.
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Comments (104)
Gobsnoglin 0
Somebody needs to be beaten. Then made to clean up his urine. Then maybe some more beatings, just for good measure. Have fun!
xxmarlboroxx 0
lmfao at 47!! you do need to at least make him clean it up. lol
thikimo 0
beastly. did he start throwing feces yet?
blackllama 0
At least they didn't tell him you have to bleed on things to mark your territory. He He... ___ @(0>0)@ |---|
smashleighfig 0
lmao, that really does suck. FYL. But, it is funny. Gotta love kids! :P
turdburgers 0
36- agreed. Especially if he's old enough to be learning in class about animal behavior beyond the "cow goes moo" crap.
lawless15 0
time to get him nudered?
ViviMage 40
*Neutered
hiimlogan 0
isnt that what you are supposed to do? thats how i claimed my girlfriend
LTMcleod 0
cute
sp500 0
Lmao I am a daddy my self and I'm only 24 my son is one and i think is cute but nasty at te same time I would talk to him and explain why he should not do that he will learn plus is a great story for the family so talk it works remember kids are like sponges