Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, not only is my son stupid enough to spend £50 on a bag of garden weeds because the dealer told him it was marijuana, he's also stupid enough to refuse to believe he was conned, and try to smoke it anyway. FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML
Today, I found out what my son has been celebrating. Apparently, his boss caught him smoking weed and fired him, then had a massive stroke and now has the IQ of a potato, so my son just kept turning up to work since his boss hadn’t had the time to tell anyone he was fired, or to fill out any paperwork. My son is scum. FML
Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML
Today, it's my 18th birthday. I called my parents and they told me that they found weed in the guest house, so they called my boarding school to drug test me. It wasn't my weed. They didn't even say, "Happy Birthday." FML
Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I got a call from my brother, saying he was losing his mind at work and did not feel well. I went to pick him up. Turns out he decided to try weed for the first time at work and was high AF. Now I'm the little brother babysitting a 35 year-old man child. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mpkpm 19
I'll sell him some coke...$100..... Does he like diet or regular?
cats400 16
You need to teach him the difference
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (78)
DARKDAY07 16
well you'll never have to worry about him smoking weed well maybe........ just watch your yard for bare patches
MrBoredomioo 18
That's what I used to think
MoodiQ 8
so you're actually sad because he doesn't know the difference but not sad because he is trying to sell weed?! what a great parent you are
Axel5238 29
That's great he doesn't know what it is, but the fact he was trying to is troubling. If some did buy it and discover they got ripped off it could've gotten ugly.
Rizzen 27
shit, the kid reminds me of someone I go to school with
pikawarriors 18
Well if he doesn't know the difference, he can't ever sell the real thing, so that's a plus!
1947Chevy 17
If he is that stupid it could get him a lot of money proving his market is to idiots
alicat13 12
Send him south over the border. It is legal there :-)
fader48080 10
I used to sell parsley and basil in dime bags at concerts. cops caught me once laughed so hard they just let me keep right on "dealing". but they also pointed out that while I was doing nothing illegal I was probably going to get shot if I keep it up. made some decent money off idiots though.
askullnamedbilly 33
Where exactly did the dad mess up? Was he supposed to sit him down and tell him: 'All right, son, just for your information - weed isn't made of actual weeds, it's marijuana. So if you ever want to buy or sell any, know the difference.'?